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forget me.... forget me not....
Sunday 21 March 2010 | 9:13 pm | 0 star
salam to all... ^_^ hmm... actually, what i'm going to say is not after all a good thing... just something from my heart which i feel i need to let it out... and dear bloggy.. u're my "diary"...when holiday comes, and when i'm apart from him, this thing always happens to me... i'll remember each and every memory of me and him but his face will become fade which will end me up in a devastating situation.. i'll start to think abnormally (heh)... poor him... i'll end up sulking and hurting him in any way i can... how could i... i'm really sorry... that incident which left a scar in my heart, makes me easily heart-broken and think twice to make a decision about 'us'..sometimes, i even think to leave u and marry somebody else before u leave me...again. either it is because of anything which makes u're forced to do so, or because of the existence of a 3rd party... and with you continuing studies somewhere where i'll not be there and far from me, which takes a very long time for us to be together and me waiting for you along that period without any "legal" relationship,.. it's just killing me as my life will be very and really simple after this... and this makes me cry even by thinking about it.. it's seriously torturing me mentally... and this is hurting u... i know... pls forgive me... however, i really have to think positive... right? although that incident actually makes me lose my trust and my confidence in you... even though within that time i was undeniably stubborn to stick by your side when u hurt me over and over again, i forced myself to make u believe that i trust you when in that period of time,u left me again and again.. all that energy of forcing are gone... and as a result, this is happening... and now, i really am forcing myself to start trusting u again, and being confident in u again.. although it's very hard.... i will try... i really am trying hard right now... i apologise.. i want to be by your side always until hereafter... i want to be yours just like what u want... but please do something... do something please... because the planning of my future is in your hands... u are the one who will plan my future and will try to make it happen as planned with Allah's blessings... prove to me that u seriously need and want me,not with words but with actions.. so please... don't forget to put me in your plan because it is in your hands... do u read me,dear... do u? i really hope i can express all these in words which will make u understand but u keep misunderstand which makes me so difficult to explain anything to u again... we both want the best for each other so we have to do the best, right...? i hope so... dear Allah... pls unite us soon and tie us together forever until hereafter... amiin... Labels: when the time comes i will never let u go ever.. |