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~going back~
Thursday 29 April 2010 | 10:10 pm | 0 star
hee... okay... now what do i have to tell... hmm... too many things have happened which are beyond my expectations & my imagination. and the 2 months holiday is ending... haisy... -_-" haha... actually i'm not that sad and i think i'm prepared to crack my brains again... hehe... i'm kind of excited to go back to KUIS to meet my friends... my cute lecturers *breath-taking* hehe... and... him. but the most important thing is... i'm excited to start my new life... in a new environment with new effort... hmm... this is somehow a struggle which i need to do to survive... there are many fights to involve in... haizz... okay... there is a sad news... my favourite singer, Muhammad Abdillah Murad just passed away... he left us way before i posted my previous post. i did not want to cry but i cried when i informed my siblings about his death... it was very startling... i hadn't heard about his news for a very long time and suddenly i received this piece of news... may Allah bless his soul and may he rest in peace... amiin... there are many incidents which occurred that i think i don't want to reveal here but i just want to say that it was kind of creepy... hee... but let's put that behind us... okay okay... the most exciting news is...well at least it is exciting for me.. hee... is that mom bought me a new phone!! Alhamdulillah... a touchy2 handphone... hehe... the model is LG Joy (GM 730).. i was thinking of buying Samsung Jet.. but let's just say it is not in the list of my rezki... hee... however, i love LG Joy... and i'll take care of it... hehe... ^_^ well the next thing is not that important but i do want to share the picture of my new handphone... hihi... see it for urself aite... hee... not that clear isn't it? but it's become my lover from the time i met it... hee... i love u,LG Joy becos u really give my joy... ^_^ ~kemas~
Friday 23 April 2010 | 2:39 pm | 0 star
this is very tiring... kemas2 uma mmg tiring... bile la nk hbs... hbs la cpt2... amiin... hehe...received a news which made me kind of startled... not too startled... but tried to think positive... hee... haisy... i don't know what to say... there are too many things to think... too many things to settle... even if u make any troubles, leave me alone then and never turn to me again cause i will never ever face u anymore... me: klau 1 ary nnt kte sme2,sye sujud syukur waktu awk lafazkn akad nikah tu... klau ade pape jd kt kte, dan mse tu sye da ade zuriat, sye tknk ngn spe2 lg... sye nk bsrkn ank sye sndri... him: mcm mne klau sye nk tgk ank sye? me: sye tk larang pn... awk blh tgk tp sye tkkn anta die prgi kt awk.. sye akn mntk org lain anta die kt awk... sbb sye tknk tgk muke awk lg... him: mcm mne plk klau sye smbunyi2 nk jmpe awk? me: klau sye nmpk awk pn, sye buat2 tk knl... pd sye, tkde pluang kdue lg utk org yg mmblkngkn sye... him: klau da ade jodoh utk smbung? me: tu lain crte... tp klau jd pn, susah sgt nk smbung balik... so.... the conclusion is, spe2 yg da lukekn syirul, tkde pluang kdue utk die... jgn gnggu hidup Syirul lg... klau ade pluang kdue pn, klau snggup nk thn dan yakinkn syirul lg brtahun2 lmenye, trskn la.... syirul mmg nmpk senang prcykn org... tp sbnrnye susah sgt3 utk syirul prcy kt org... syirul nmpk senang nk yakin ngn org... tp sbnrnye susah sgt3 utk syirul yakin ngn org... lg2 utk org2 yg dah lukekn syirul... jgn sesekali muncul dpn syirul.. sbb syirul benci. lg 1... syirul nie mudah je fobia... skali bnde tu trjd,syirul akn fkr byk negative dr positivenye... so... hati2 la k... Labels: the leaves are falling... ~season's going to change~
Thursday 22 April 2010 | 6:55 pm | 0 star
alrite... the season's going to change and the new chapter of life is going to begin... what's in store for us? no one really knows... >_^ okay... 3 mei nnt Syirul akn balik ke kampus life dgn Sakinah & insyaAllah Syadee will follow us too... tp tkpe tau klau tk jd,Dee... ^_^ it's ok... blm balik sne, Syirul da ade mcm2 meeting & dating... huhu... memain jew... hikhik... but i heard that someone is indeed coming to SINGAPORE!! yay!! another one to welcome after my friends from Malaysia came here... ^_^ welcome,future brother-in-law... welcome... ^_^ hehe.. nk survey2 dlu ye jd da confirm nnt blh dtg msuk trs... ehm2.. memain jew... pd kak Ayu & abg Aizham yg ade bce post nie... jgn mrh... sbb Syirul excited sbnrnye... hehehe... nie ade something utk future brother-in-law yg nk dtg... ehm2... W-E-L-C-O-M-E WELCOME!! W-E-L-C-O-M-E WELCOME!! WELCOME!! WELCOME!! ABG AIZHAM!! WELCOME!! *cheer dgn pom pom* hihi... dpt read tune die tk? klau dpt... gd2... klau tk dpt... nnt Syirul cheerkn mse abg aizham dtg kt uma... hee... ^_^v tp klau tk jd... tkpe gak... tp Syirul doakn sumenye brjln ngn lancar k.. amiin... ok2... actually... ade seseorg post kt fb Syirul yg tk sume Syirul blh luahkn kt Fb... kate2nye tu mmg buat Syirul fkr 2 kali... Syirul sesungguhnye mmg da byk kali luahkn rse tk puas hati kt "seseorg" tu tp tk tau la die fhm ke tak... tp Syirul post something psl die sbb mse tu mmg Syirul tk puas aty sgt3 kt die... so I'm really sorry... sbnrnye... mcm nie la Syirul.. sbb da blh type, Syirul jarang tulis... dan kdg2 syirul lupe, ape yg Syirul type tu sume org blh bce.. jd, Syirul mntk maaf sgt3... insyaAllah lain kali, Syirul lbh brkias jd, org yg Syirul tujukn tu je blh fhm... k? klau tk pn, rajin2 la bce blog Syirul... sbb ape yg Syirul tk ltk kt Fb, Syirul ltk kt blog.. hee... dan blog Syirul, tk rmai org bce... jd, blh la spe2 tu lege skt... ^_^v Syirul mntk maaf sgt3 k... ok3... lg2... ha! Syirul ade lg tk plus2 this week, ade exactly 1 more week kt Spore bfore Syirul balik Msia... hee... tp... sbb mk pn da kemas2, dgn penuh rse tk sbrnye... Syirul pn kemas2 la bju2 Syirul gak... muat k 1 luggage... spe kate tk muat?? spe?? spe?? hehe... ade 1 bag full of Lajnahnye brg2... 1 bag full ngn kasut & brg dapur... 1 lg backpack... ngn slingbag... biase ah tu kn.. cheh cheh... hehe... nk tgk?? see? see? tk byk kn...? hee.. actually... syirul ade lg baldi kat uma kwn Syirul kt Msia ngn 1 kotak pooh kt Msia gak.. tp tk kire la kn.. sbb yg pntng, Syirul dpt kurngkn bju2 Syirul!! yay for me!! ^_^ k2... tu je k... nnt ade pape lg, Syirul update aite? klau kt KUIS nnt, nk update da susah skt... hee... k2... wslm... may Allah be with u always... Labels: the more i cry means the more my love grows.. ~confidence~
Friday 16 April 2010 | 7:50 pm | 0 star
i was losing my confidence in him when i questioned about his preparation to a change of his status-single to married, and he did not give me an answer although all these are his plans... as the age of 25 above is suitable for guys to get married, his is only 20 this year and yet.. he wants to get into the new life... he was surely very serious when he told me about it.. it gave me goosebumps because he really did sound so sure.. and so i began to question him.. for a guy, freedom is always their priority... it's rare for us to bump into guys who want to commit themselves into a relationship.. after the questioning, he seemed to be thinking twice.. what a disappointment.. suddenly this morning, he was in this very bright aura which made me saw the confidence in him when he told me that he IS ready... and the sentence he used was very like... in the novel see? i wasn't too sure but he seemed like he did not mind whether i'm confident in him or not... he still wants to go on with what he planned... i AM very happy but yes.. i'm very nervous too... it's just the matter of time now.. dap dup dap dup... -_-" i really hope that this is it... this is going to be the last one for eternity... amiin... pls oh Allah... pls... let this happen and let it stays forever until hereafter... amiin... ok... let's say this is hubby & honey ok..(husband & wife i mean) may we be blessed and we can be together forever... amiin... thank u for all this time,abg... Labels: it's just the matter of time... ~sweet suffering~
Wednesday 14 April 2010 | 12:50 pm | 0 star
i just can't tell whether it was a nightmare or a dream... it was scary yet so sweet... it was terrible yet so nice... smlm mlm, dr mule Syirul tutup mate smpai Syirul bukak mate waktu subuh & tutup mate lg, cume die yg Syirul mimpi... tk tau la knp... dan mimpi tu bg effect smpai Syirul da bangun... maybe...there are too many things i'm thinking... haii... Syirul sbr sgt3 bile Syirul dpn "seseorg tu"... Syirul igt lg waktu tu sume ade dlm klas dan yg laki tnggl dlm klas cume Abu.. Syirul smpai tekap due2 tngn Syirul mntk sgt3 Abu tlg jgn kluar dr klas bile die kate die nk kluar & jmpe kwn2 laki yg lain...die sruh Syirul prgi join kwn2 prmpn yg lain tgh brbual.. tp Syirul mntk sgt3 waktu tu bg Syirul ikut die prgi mne yg die nk prgi... sbb Syirul tk blh lg brdpn dgn "seseorg tu"... Syirul tk kuat... sbb Syirul tkkn ckp ngn "seseorg tu" mcm Syirul slalu buat.. tk blh lg ktw btl2 pn sbb sakit sgt3 ngn prbuatan "seseorg tu"... Syirul igt lg waktu tu.. for the first time, abu nmpk mcm fhm sgt knp syirul buat mcm tu... die tk mrh tp die ikutkn ape yg syirul mksudkn... die bwk syirul kluar.. die kate syirul kne msuk jgk nnt... die kate die ade... jgn rsau... dan sbb tu, syirul msuk jgk sbb syirul jd tknk tngguh2 utk mnghadap "seseorg tu"... trm ksh,abg... syirul tk tau "seseorg tu" sdr atau tk ape yg die tgh buat... syirul tk tau "seseorg tu" sngaje atau tk.. klau tk sngaje,syirul mntk maaf sbb buat "seseorg tu" mcm nie... tp ape yg "seseorg tu" tgh buat nie, mmg menyakitkn sgt3... rse mcm kne tikam blkng... smpai hati... syirul da dgr perncngn die.. pd syirul, die mmg tkkn bilng syirul rncngn die klau die tk fkr masak2... sbb die bkn jenis yg suke trburu2... syirul suke sgt dgn perncngn die... cume waktu je yg blm tibe utk sumenye trjd... dan bile waktu msh lg tk izinkn, sumenye menakutkn utk syirul... dan even klau waktu dah smpai, syirul msh gemuruh... syirul tkt trlalu awl utk die sdgkn mmg da sesuai utk syirul... syirul tkt mcm2 mslh nnt timbul akn dtg... we have yet to discuss this properly... hmm... but staying far away from each other is not an option & is not one of our plan... syirul igt... syirul tkkn nangis lg... tp mcm2 prasaan buat syirul nangis lg & lg & lg... i just can wait & see... may Allah give us oppurtunity & give us what we plan as we really need it... i'm really tired now... and i don't want to be tired of these things in the future... thank u for all u have given me,abg... thank u... Labels: i'm still dreaming that u grant me my wish... ~change~
Monday 12 April 2010 | 2:13 pm | 0 star
everything is changing... i can sense it & i can feel it... i can even see it... how? i don't know because the environment is not the same and even the wind is changing its direction...i received a msg from my dear old friend, Nur Nadiah bte mohd Hasim... haha... surprisingly, i can still remember her full name.. ok.. she is going to UIA to further her studies... i forgot to ask what is the course she's taking... oh my... hee.. least did i expect that i will be one of her friends to receive that piece of meaningful message... it brought tears to my eyes... seriously... she reminded me of how close we used to be when we were in school... we always "celebrated" our birthday together as her birthday is a day before mine... i just miss the times we were in school and now i do realise that i really loved going to school at that time.. just the same as i love to go to classes in my college now.. but we can't return to that time can we? it is already in the past.. and the future holds something that no one knows what it is.. nur nadiah... good luck.. do u still remember how people start calling u Noned? it was in secondary 1... ^_^ secondary 1... haha... so long ago... hmm... -i miss spacing out of the window when the teachers are teaching in front... -i miss dozing off when i couldn't understand the subject which was being taught... -i miss to sit quietly at my place doing my own things during recess time... -i miss looking at the primary students playing at the parking which we considered as our field... -i miss visiting my friends in other class... -i miss praying together at the hall... -i miss copying homework before the class started... -i miss everyone and everything in school... now, everything is not the same as before... the experience is very priceless... the hurt is worse... the happiness is decreasing... because we can never laugh like those days.. and the reason we laugh is not the same... the tears have become more eager to meet the world than the smile which is now has hide behind the mask.. bitter is more than sweet... the path is more challenging... hmm... and i really hope i can stand still at the path i once can be happy without any worries... but time flies... i really am blessed... there are so many people who love me... and i really love them too.. i can see the world clearly now.. but i want to close my eyes and deny the things that are hurtful to me.. i want to believe that all the things that are painful are lies... but i just can't... but thank you, Allah... for sending him to me... for giving me the feel to love and be loved... it is a wonder... thank u,Allah... and please oh please... let me feel the happiness You once gave me... because i really need it... amiin... Labels: the season is changing once more... how can i forget
Thursday 8 April 2010 | 4:31 pm | 0 star
everytime i think... i get a headache...everytime i feel... i get a heartache.. i'm already too tired to experience those hurtful things again... and i can't even imagine if i have to endure it once more... because... i've reached my limits.. i'm going through a phase which i start to give him messages which i felt in my nightmares... just like yesterday... i dreamt of that girl and i felt a disastrous heartache which ended me up sending him a message which i wanted to just type it and wished i could send it to her... and it hurts too much.. abg... syg sje post nie... tk tau abg bce ke tak... tk tau abg nk bce ke tak pn... tk tau jgk abg rajin nk bce atau tk... tp syg mntk maaf byk3... sgt3... syg btl2 tk sngje... cume da byk sgt bnde yg jd yg menyakitkn yg buat syg pnt sgt dan tknk dan mls nk tempuh lg... ade plk prkr yg buat abg ngn syg jauh nnt... dan syg tk tau syg kuat atau tk nk jalani waktu tu... tp pape pn, klau abg nk, trskn lah... sbb mcm yg syg slalu ckp... sumenye kt tngn abg... syg nk rncng... syg blh rncng skt je... sume mse dpn kte, mse dpn syg, kt tngn abg... syg duk diam tgk k... klau ade yg syg tknk, syg bilng abg... him: abg prgi kjp je k... nnt abg balik ambk syg... me: nnt tk dtg2... him: npe syg ckp mcm tu... tk prcy abg eh... me: prcy... tp ade byk kemungkinan yg tk mustahil... abg igt tk mse abg bru knl syg... abg ckp... "klau sye prgi lg, sye nk bwk awk ngn sye... msti best klau awk ikut skali... sye ade teman dlm flight..." ^_^ klau lah blh trjd kn abg... sumenye cume mntk air mate trun je skrg nie... hihihi... ape la syirul nie... hmm... sakinah is thinking of moving in with me... nk pindah bilik lain type C... this is a very good news to me... but looking at the other side, it's not gd at all.... cause she needs to sacrifice many things in order to move out of that house... it's like this... pindah dr situ, byk bnde kte akn hilang... -kte tkkn tau pape sebyk mne yg kte prnh tau.. -kte akn hilang that special bond yg ade dlm diri kte...yg left is only love which will make us want to be with them again.. -kte akn hilang "kerapatan" yg ade mse kte duk satu uma dlu.. dan sume yg hilang tu bkn skt... nmpk cume satu prkr yg kte hilang... tp dr saru prkr tu, ade byk sgt3 yg kte akn hilang... mkin lme mkin byk dan mkin byk dan mkin byk... dan kte tkkn suke dgn prubahan yg ade... as for me... ye ana byk kluar ngn abu... because that is the only time we have to be together other than in class... the situation is very very very different... and he is not just some guyfriend but he is my future... there is a lot of things for us to talk about... there is a need to spend time together because he is going to help me write my own future... insyaAllah... amiin... and i don't u to be alone at times when i need to be with him... if only there is other choice than this, i would certainly pick that choice if it doensn't hurt any sides... can u see what will happen if u move out? u won't like it because honestly, i hate it... but on top of that, i will always love u because u are my twin... forever... even if we are going to part one day, that is not going to change... ^_^ abg... trm ksh utk sume slame nie... klau ade jodoh, kte akn jmpe lg nnt kn... Labels: the image of snow falling in my head is bringing tears to my eyes.. hoilday
Wednesday 7 April 2010 | 4:08 pm | 0 star
salam to all... ^_^ i was planning to go to Kulai rite... and i went there as planned... Alhamdulillah... everything was nice and wonderful and better..... too many incidents have happened which changed almost everything in my life... and i just realise it now... -_-'i'm going to be a 3rd year senior in KUIS soon... and this always reminds me of the day i 1st register in that college... the day i met him... the day i struggled to suit myself... the day everything was lost from me... the day i was hurt by my own friend.... and the day everything changed.. not only these happened in the college but also in my semester breaks... and i'm feeling very very very tired now... plans after diploma?? 1st: work 2nd: work 3rd: work hahaha... this is what i'm going to do after i finish my diploma.. while waiting for my convocation day, i'm going to find a job and after that, i'm going to continue working.. i'm thinking of attending English Language course anywhere in order to get myself a job as an English teacher... i wonder if this will make me qualified to be a teacher... haha... but for the time being, i think i won't be able to attend any courses as i want to focus on stabilizing my job first... when everything is alright, i will then study English further... oh.... how i LOVE languages... isn't it nice to be able to learn more languages other than English & Arabic?? WOW! on top of that, my situation doesn't allow me to continue studies further or work for a long time... there are other plans which are made by him... because i need to think about his plans too... he wants to go back to Syria for 3 years... and here i am... going to continue a job without wage and that is waiting for him... hmm.... bukanke krjku mmg mnunggu die sjk azali? -_-" his plan is.......... haha... too embarrass to tell.. *blush* but if i follow his plans, Alhamdulillah... may everything will be alright. but as for now, i can't think the best but only the worst as i think i need to prepare myself for the worst right... so many what ifs in my head... haisy... i'm really feeling very tired right now... too many things ahead that i need to think.. so many that i think i will explode... hmm... so many preparations to be done... oh no... may Allah make these things easy for me... amiin... Labels: didn't u promise to take me there to watch the snow together? |