Little Dreaming Star
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rebirth
Sunday, 24 January 2010 | 6:47 pm | 0 star
whew... after so many months and so many weeks that it already reached New Year, i finally can post blog... wow! haha... not that surprising eh...so many things have happened.. i was selected as "timbalan pengerusi II" for Persatuan Mahasiswa Usuluddin.. actually, it's not that surprising.. i've told u... haha... pengerusi die Abu and pengerusi I is Amin... can only work with both of the guys only... maybe because they know the flow of my work... it's kind of topsy-turvy for the first programme of our Lajnah.. it's a follow-up of Sakinah's dakwah assignment... my group is very great and i love them... really love them... thnk u girls for ur love and coorperation... ^_^ i really miss my bestie 4eva... Nur Sakinah Bte Mohd. Salleh.. it's really hard to meet her as we are in different course and we are tied to our works... always dreamt about her... haha... sometimes i wish that me and her didn't come here so both of us can always live happily... but there are pleasant surprise within all these... i get to know Muneer... whom i really love... and i get to meet Abu... a nice guy which has always given me comfort and lessons in life.. thnks a lot,Allah for the gifts that U have given to me... but the presence of some people really make me feel uneasy.. the way they treat my loved one... as if there are no limits to where they are going.. don't u know that u are hurting me badly? and u, my love... u make me feel as if i'm being cheated by u... as if u have someone else beside me and it's not easy for me... are u using me? who am i to u? just a doll which u can tore it everytime u want? u are killing me... u really are killing me... awk tgh mmbunuh sye...dgn prbuatan awk tu... and because of this, "this" thing came again... hasut Syirul dan buat Syirul prcy ape yg Syirul fkr slme nie btl... and is it really true? i don't know who should i believe... because u, u reallu look guilty... and i don't know if it is my imagination or not... every step u take becomes a strength for me to believe what i think... ape yg patut ye buat klau ape yg sye fkr ni btl? sbb muke awk kelihatan mcm awk mmg menduakn seseorg... Nauzubillah.. nauzubillah ya Rabb... Astaghfirullah... it's been 2 nites since i got hurt... my body is aching all over and there are bruises which hurt so much that i feel like i'm dying slowly... this is insanity... Astaghfirullah... Syirulnk pastikn... wlaupun Syirul tk dgn die, Syirul sht... Syirul tetap sht... Syirul tknk brgntung pd org yg menyakitkn Syirul... brpe lme lg Syirul nk jd mcm nie? brgntung pd seseorg... utk pstikn "sesuatu" tu hilng dr dri Syirul.. but actually, Syirul bkn brgntung pd die utk tu... tp sbb Syirul syg die... dan klau kte syg ape yg kte nk? u know it... tp sbb tu Syirul nk brdri ats kaki Syirul sndri... Syirul tknk brgntung pd die... sbb klau Syirul trluke, luke tu akn jd teruk sgt3... haisy... that's all for now i think... smoga die rse ape yg Syirul rse satu ary nnt... cme dgn cre tu die akn fhm ape yg Syirul alami slme nie... Amiin.. Labels: did u just break ur promise my love? miracles do happen~
Wednesday, 25 November 2009 | 10:57 pm | 0 star
alrite... here we go...i was hoping that i could go back to KUIS to continue what i stopped... and Alhamdulillah... after kak ayu's hardwork and muneerah's help,sakinah's hope and other's suplication... with abg aizham's help too,and thanks for welcoming me,sir... Ustaz Subari... i'm able to go back to KUIS delayed by a week from others... that day was hectic... and for a few days,i had to sleep at kak ayu's room and muneer's... after i got a room,i still sleep at muneer's as i am alone in that room... haha... to go back to my sister's or sakinah's,it's really tiring... the hostel is too big aite... poor leggy... -_-" but my so-called "comeback" has been misunderstood by some parties i guess... did i come back because of him? did i? i'm sorry to say that i don't want to answer that question and i don't want to elaborate more why i come back to KUIS... if someone really knows me,then he or she will surely understand why without asking... ^_^ for them who support me all along and have been lending a hand for me,i really appreciate... thank u so much... ^_^ i love all of u... but i'm still not officially in 4th semester... and i'm trying really hard... there are so much work to be done... -_-" but insyaAllah i'll be able to handle it... i believe in myself and in Allah... He will help me... i'm very sure of it... so until here then... for u,i love u... ^_^ Labels: hope nothing will go wrong... 18 October~
Sunday, 18 October 2009 | 7:01 pm | 0 star
On this very date in the year of 1991... a little girl was born in Kandang Kerbau Hospital after her mom,Sanipah bte Ngersiman was operated... the little girl was very red,small and had a very black and thick hair... her mother once told that in the operation room, the dose given wasn't strong enough to let her continuously being unconcious... she was half awake and felt the pain of being cut and she thought that she's dying... but fortunately, with Allah's wish, she manages to watch her 2nd daughter grows up until today... then it's time to name the baby... so the rightful elder gave the mother to choose a name for the newborn baby which he had found... -Najmulhuda -Sirulhuda -Qamarulhuda and so... the newborn baby was named Sirulhuda... but when the mother wanted to write her name in the birth certificate, she added y between S and i... and so... this changed the whole meaning of the name which means: Showing Guidance or Guidance's Signal... (Syirulhuda)... hye! ^_^ that was a story which happened 18 years ago... here, i really want to thank Allah for giving me a chance to live in this world... Alhamdulillah... and thank you,mom... for giving birth to me and endured the pain of the operation... thank you and sorry... received a phone call,surprisingly from my beloved,one & only who is in Malaysia...thnk u so much,dear... ^_^ i thought no one remembered... hihi... but in the end of the day, i really had a great time... thanks Ju and Muneer... you are both great friends to me... Ju... thanks for the botol susu... hihi... and Muneer... thanks for being the first person to wish and treat me... i'm really thankful... ^_^ on my birthday today, my little sister went back to Malaysia and i really miss her as she is the 1st source of happiness in this household... study smart and don't forget to revise always aite... ^_^very much thanks to my dear Nafeesah for not forgetting and i really love the gift... thanks to everyone who wished me... i'm really grateful because of the thoughts given... i appreciate it a lot... ^_^ until here,may Allah bless all of you... Ameen... with love;  -the little girl who's growing up from 18 yrs ago- Labels: thanks for the love given a happy moment?~
Friday, 16 October 2009 | 6:29 pm | 0 star
a new student in Zuhri today and she's the same as me... K83... now i can finally be myself but still is yet to adapt wholly... it's really really hard...she's nice and very friendly so it's easy for me to talk to her... i suddenly miss Muneerah so much... the situation is like when i first at KUIS... -a guy got to know me -a friend came along after i entered college the situations are very alike... just that, that guy is not Abu and i don't want to get too close to guys and she is not Muneerah and will never be one... so,the old ones are still better for me... ^_^ she told me stories and so i realise that there are people in this world who are facing harder situations than me... so i need to be thankful... Alhamdulillah...she's quite adorable... but she has been offered to go to KUIS after being accepted at Zuhri... and she really wants to go to KUIS... haha... just imagine! i just dropped out from there aite... haila haila... just hope that we will be on good terms every now and then... Ameen... and finally... Alhamdulillah... i got a msg from him... may Allah unite us one day under his barakah... Ameen...and... a picture i really want to share with others... haha... i don't really know why but it's very cute and some of you must have looked at it... it's really nice... an expression of love... ^_^  -edited it a lil bit ^_^- Labels: may Allah unite us one day... dream or nightmare?~
Saturday, 10 October 2009 | 7:16 pm | 0 star
2 more days to go... but i don't know what will happen when the time comes... are we going to stay or are you going to decide something like what you did before? i'm so scared that you'll be gone... for me,the distance is enough for me... i dreamt you again... but for me,it's a nightmare... maybe it's because i'm really scared that i read your messages and cried until i slept... will this come true? i don't know... but this is the 2nd time that i dreamt like this... the 1st one, you asked me to throw something into the sea as a symbol that we've parted ways... and at that point of time, in my dream, i felt as if i was killed and i wanted to jump into the sea too... but i didn't. and we were together without anyone's blessings... yesterday, you did it again in my dream.. you came out and said that you had to follow instructions... and like always, i just said yes and went away... after that, i cried hard... without you noticing it... it hurts that in reality, i realise that losing you is like losing part of me... but i have to accept it if that's true right... i don't know if i'll accept anyone in my life again because it's going to be hard for me... really really hard... but i'll accept it... however, Nauzubillah...i don't want it to happen... i just want us to be together... Ameen... this is just a piece of my thought and feeling.... not all can understand and maybe some will shake their heads when reading this... but i don't mind... i don't care what people think and feel... because not even one of them knows the truth... so i'll just let it be... it's just you,me and ALLAH... and that's more than enough for me... Ya ALLAH... hny Kau yg tau, apa yg brada dlm hati ini... hny Kau yg mampu utk melakukn sgala sesuatu, maka aku mohon barakah dah rahmat drmu,utk merestui kami dan menyatukn kami dlm limpah kurniaMu... Ameen... Labels: u promised to take me to watch the snow fall together... a memory~
Thursday, 8 October 2009 | 5:27 pm | 0 star
looking at her situation somehow reminds me of mine...just last week, i was sitting in the MRT when there was a family of 3, a mother and 2 children i assume... but the little boy somehow didn't seem like hers... who do i say that? i heard they were talking about the little boy talking about something like not wanting to be the little girl's husband... the 2 children were still in primary school i guess.. the boy said that he didn't want to marry that girl,and the woman between them somehow seemed angry with him since they went into the train... she didn't even take a glance at the boy and she asked the girl whether she wants to marry him and the little girl said... "since he doesn't want to marry me,i don't want to marry him..." this conversation really attracted me... but not just what they were talking about... but the action of the woman and the boy... that boy reminded me of myself... when i'm scolded and my thought is not accepted by some people,i'll feel really lonely especially when they turned their back off me as if i'm not there... it's a feeling of embarrassment and anguish plus frustrated... the boy kept talking to himself and the woman ignored him... until they alighted at Simei... but the woman and the girl alighted first without the boy noticing... only when the boy realised that the doors were opened and they were not there that he ran out of train... poor boy... and a couple replaced them... they looked like as if they were arguing... they were in silence until the lady hugged the guy's hand... as if she wanted to be consolled or was consoling the guy by action... and they reminded me of myself again... (not like i hugged someone's hand... it's the feeling and the aura... huhu) i can't forget both scenes...which remind me more of myself... i thought it's only me that have ever been into that kind of situation... i hope there will be no one like me...ever. seeing her being depressed and stressed about her problem,makes me cry... because she reminds me of myself again... another situation which is the same as mine... suddenly today, everything reminds me of KUIS... the subject today... the situation today...everything... and it makes me miss KUIS badly... how i wish i could be strong enough to make sure this won't happen... if only i can turn back time... but i can't... this is my destiny now... i won't forget the day i was given my matric no... that sweet memory and feeling of being happy... that one day when it's so light... that one fine day which can't be erased from my heart,my mind, which has been intertwined with my soul... and i'm waiting for that one fine day to come again... that one fine day... but it's my destiny.. i have to accept it... HE knows better than i do... i have to accept my destiny that has been written for me... Ya ALLAH... jika ini jalan yg KAU pilih utkku,maka permudahkanlah segala urusanku... Ameen... Labels: don't leave me ever again... stories~
Monday, 5 October 2009 | 6:27 pm | 0 star
yay! updatting bloggy at last... hmm... mcm mls tp nk update jgk! rase mls nie mmg btl2 kene atasi... haii...okay... here it goes..~~ 1st day of school? hihi... fine for me... actually,my class was at 9 but suddenly a thought striked me... what if they put the wrong timing? what if actually there is an assembly before starting classes? hahaha... and i came around 8.30am... if the class is at 8,then i was considered late.. fuhh.. luckily,the class REALLY started at 9am... hihi.. and i was like a blur kid... looking for room 5... then,i heard the receptionists talking about new students being blur on their 1st day... kepoh k... pity me... huhu... while waiting,i looked at my ex-classmates pics... and i nearly cried... i miss them lots and lots of ton... but i can never be part of them ever again... hmm... kak mas' present still makes me miss her so much... hmm... luckily,Amal was there and Muneerah's friend was there too... i made some new friends Alhamdulillah... tp malu gile ya Allah... malu gile3... cume time bljr jer tk malu... hihihi... but overall,Alhamdulillah... he's going for a while and i'm waiting... Bintang takkan indah dan lengkap tanpa Bulan,begitu jgk sbaliknya... pls come back for me... i'm waiting... and guess what? something happened which makes me to have goosebumps... a friend is like misunderstands the way i talk and the way i 'entertain' him... oh my... may this is just a misunderstanding... Ameen... k k... that's all... i'll update even more aite... nk solat maghrib nie... dada... may Allah bless you all always... Ameen... ^_^ Labels: i'm waiting for us to watch cherryblossoms together... |
