I logged in his fb account just now when he had deactivated it for so many years long.
I read the comments.
The messages are deleted.
I imagined the expressions.
And all that is left.. memories and heartache.
She told me not to do it again. I know that is the message embedded in her comment.
If only they knew, how much it hurts..
And all that is left.. miseries.
From that point of time, my life changed drastically.
And I changed.
All because of.. memories and heartache.
Every time I look at the apartments under the blue sky, I feel like having my own home, my own family. My husband, and my own children. I imagine that I am cooking happily for them, and they are happily waiting for me. MY husband is playing with our children or helps me in the kitchen. And we live happily together until jannah.
New semester begins~Assalamualaikum to all~ (^_^)
I'm updating my post from my new lappy! hee..
This sunday, I'll be going back to IIUM to resume my studies..
May Allah ease all my path and let me study peacefully.. Aamiin...
Yesterday, I just got a job. It's teaching children who are muslim converts.
The principal told me that it's not going to be an easy job because they are very different from us,
born-muslims. Listening to her, I know completely that it's going to be very tough.
Moreover, I'm going to keep coming back to Singapore from KL every weekend as I'll be teaching on Sundays.
Hmm I'm scared. I don't know whether it's going to be fun or not, but I know one thing. It's going to be very.. I repeat. VERY tiring. I'll try it for one semester. If I can't concentrate on my studies and lose focus, then I'm going to stop working on weekend and just study.
Uff.. I'm so scared. But Allah is always there. Hmm.. I did a lot of wrong things everyday nowadays. A lot of disgusting things. And I'm starting to hate myself more and more. Oh Allah.. Pls oh pls forgive me.. sobsobs.
Moving to another story, I accidentally looked at her photo just now. I really am trying not to hate anyone without reasons. It's such a hateful thing to do right?
Oh. Let's pray for abang that he'll be able to find an institute which offers part-time weekend Bachelor of Islamic Studies shall we? I really want him to have a Bachelor degree, but he also needs to work. We're going to settle down soon. and may Allah help us to get his barakah for us to lead a happy life until akhirat.. Aamiin..
Ok that's all for now. Oh! My little sister is also in IIUM now. (^_^) The three of us are now together again under one university roof. Hamdan Lillah.. (^_^) Ok I'm going to stop now.
I'll write some other time ok? InsyaAllah..
Wahai Wanita~Tiada hiasan secantiknya..
Tidak pula mendabik dada..
Kau diibaratkan sebagai hiasan dunia..
Hiasan yang indah..
Namun yang indah itu wanita solehah..
Dan maruahmu perlu dijaga..
Tidak perlu mendabik dada..
Berbangga kerana mampu menundukkan mereka..
Indahmu hanya untuk yang sah..
Yang halal dinamakan suami tercinta..
Kehormatanmu sangat tinggi darjatnya..
Harga dirimu adalah kristal yang susah dijumpa..
Mahkotamu adalah satu mutiara..
Kerna itulah kamu sangat berharga..
Bukan aku mengecilkanmu..
Bukan juga aku menghinamu..
Kerna aku salah satu darimu..
Dan aku hanya mengingatkan diriku..
Agar tidak melampaui batasan sebagai hiasan..
Agar tidak terlupa kamu itu milik Tuhan..
Kerna yang indah mesti ditutup dan dijaga..
Yang cantik mesti dilindung dengan tegasnya..
Andai hatimu disentuh, jangan biar ia terleka..
Kerna itu mungkin racun bagi maruahmu yang tiada tandingnya..
Salam Eidulfitri~Assalamualaikum.. (^__^) Salam Eidulfitri, maaf zahir dan batin.. (^__^)
Minal Aidin wal Faizin.. SubhanAllah.. skjp je Ramadhan dah berlalu.. entah dpt berjumpa Ramadhan pd tahun dpn atau tdk, Wallahu'alam.. =(
Skrg tgh cuti!! yay!! nothing much to tell.. oh! My little sister is going to UIA next week! (^__^)
May Allah give the best for her in this life and hereafter.. Amiin..
Lagi.. Alahai.. serious tkde ape nk crte... hmm oh btw, this is my new lappy!! Alhamdulillah.. (^__^)
I'm writing a script for CrYPT on November?
ok what is CrYPT? It's a one night theatre, which consists of 8 different stories from 8 different scrptwriters..! and one of them is me. tadaa!! haha..
But the story is very simple, i wonder if it'll make a good impression to the audience or not.. hmm..
May Allah help me and ease my path for this story..Amiin..
I think that's all for now.. nothing much to say..
See you soon!!
Wahai lelaki~Bukan aku memandang rendah..
Bukan juga aku memandang hina..
Janganlah memikat andai kamu tidak berniat utk menyayanginya..
Janganlah memberi harapan andai terselit perasaan belum sedia utk menjadi imamnya..
Janganlah kamu bercinta dengannya andai kamu sekadar ingin menyimpannya..
Janganlah kamu berkasihan dengannya andai kamu tidak bersedia menjadi suaminya..
Jangan perdayakan kaum wanita..
Kaum wanita lemah tetapi juga kuat dari segi semangat..
Jangan perlekehkan hatinya kerana air mata..
Kaum wanita menangis melatih kekuatan jiwanya..
Kamu seorang ketua, imam dan pemimpin..
Kamu seorang yang perlu tegas tetapi lembut utk memimpin..
Kamu kelak utk isteri dan anak-anak sebagai pembimbing..
Jangan lupa siapa dirimu di sisi Tuhan..
Jangan alpa dgn angan-angan..
Andai kamu tidak bersedia jgn sesekali mulakan..
Andai kamu tidak mampu tlg lepaskan..
p/s: jgn memberi hrpn membuta tulis.. wanita juga punya harga diri.
Fasobrun Jamil~I received a shocking news from bestie 2 nights before.. A very shocking news that make me scared because I've dreamt about this person twice.. and suddenly his name appears.. trying to find the reason why I went away..
Ilaika.. you already have that special person and I pray for your happiness. I'm truly happy right now with my family, my bestfriend, my friends, and my beloved him by my side.. They really care for me and accept me for who I am despite my mistakes, my weaknesses and my flaws.. I think it's time for you to let go.. You're not supposed to remember anything about me and so do I.. I know it's hard to forget but please try.. I don't want anyone to get hurt because since I left, I've been through the pain that changed my whole life and also myself..
Ilaika.. Please don't make the mistake twice.. It's hard to change but if you're really persistant to find the blessings of Allah, surely, He will help you.. believe me. and I also am trying really hard to change. Allah has given me a beautiful person to guide me and change together with me.. Motivates me, and cares for me so much.. So please, don't come near me or try to find reasons or ask for me.. More than one person will get hurt..
Ilaika.. I don't think I'm important to you anymore because I'm just a part of your past.. and there are more important things to you than myself, and I put myself in a place where you don't even need me anymore. So yes, I'm not an important person anymore. So please care for that person's feelings and stop mentioning my name or my bestfriend's name.. It's hurting their hearts.
I hope you'll never appear in front of me anymore, never let me hear your voice and never let me know about your life. Because it's over and it's been long since we have to move on.. I've moved on. and I know you also do.
P/S for my beloved husband, no matter where you are: Pls take care of me, as I will try my best to take care of you. and pls shower me with endless love until akhirat with the blessings of Allah, I'll shower you with the same love too.. (^__^)