Little Dreaming Star
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can u feel it now?
Wednesday, 22 July 2009 | 11:01 am | 0 star
i was scolded because it hurt him so much that he loses his focus and concentration in studying...i'm sorry... 2 days ago,pip received a msg which sounded like this... "mulai skrg,kte dh tkde pape, kau jgn carik aku lg... slame ni,kau byk susahkn aku,Bnci! prgi kau dan lupekn aku.. aku dh byk trseksa psl kau, kau mmg tak gune! kau igt ,stiap ari aku lyn kau, mknenye aku suke kau? tak ah! aku uat sume ni bkn ngn rela hati,tp trpkse.. prgi ah kau, aku tknk kau lg,tlg ah prgi... trm ksh ats jasa kau slame ni... SLMT TNGGL WAHAi!!! DIET..." and i received it from Sakinah yesterday... so i just thought of sending it to my loved ones... -Mnueerah -Diela -Afiq and... him. i didn't mean to make a prank... just wanted to send this to them without any intention... tkde trfkr nk buat dorng trkejut,atau nk main2kn dorang,ataupun nk mainkn hati org... jauh skali... i forgot... i forgot something which is very important about him and so... i got a scolding... can u feel it now? it hurts so much that u can't do anything right? so do i... it's not revenge... i have never thought about it even once... when i think back, it's only twice... it's only a subject... but can u ever imagine? since that particular day, even when i focus or concentrate, whatever that reached my mind will be gone after i step out of class... it will be gone right after i close the books... i can't remember anything that i really really have to study last minute in order to answer the test... u are very lucky... so lucky... but i can't remember until now... until now and i really mean it... can u feel it now? i don't want u to be like me... i don't want u to face any hardships like i am right now... it'll affect u deeply... not just ur heart,but u'll get affected physically... just like me... i don't want u to feel it... but u're feeling it now... i'm sorry... i didn't mean to... i really am sorry... pls forgive me... i'll make sure i won't do it again. Ever. i'll make sure of it... so pls... forgive me... Syirul masuk hospital lg smlm... ambk darah. but as usual,the doctor said i'm fine... i wonder why i keep getting sick... it's a test from Allah i guess... so i have to be strong... ne? sakit tau ambk darah... mcm nk pengsan je rase bile nmpk die kluarkn darah Syirul tu... sakit sgt3... tp ok lh skrg ni... midterm usul fiqh? 17/25... Alhamdulillah... syirul tk mnghrp lbh pun sbb Syirul slh... tu yg slayaknye Syirul dpt...k then... that's that... May Allah bless u all with taufiq wan najah... Ameen... p/s: -unintentionally, we always hurt the one we love the most... -tanpe niat dan tanpe sdr, kte slalu sakitkn hati org yg paling kte syg... Labels: tngglkn...jgn lpskn... what's going on?
Tuesday, 21 July 2009 | 7:04 pm | 0 star
kul 8 nnt ade midterm usul fiqh tp tgh post blog skrg ni... =p sesuke hati je Syirul ni...so... smlm tgk Hanakimi... dh lame eh crite tu tp baru dpt tgk sbb sakinah ambk dr athena... best sgt3... as usual,learn a lot from it... dr ktw2, terus jd org pikiran...hmm... hbskn novel Hijab Sang Pencinta padahal org patutnye bljr usul fiqh... teruk kn? best crite tu... perfect ending for a perfect beginning... nice story,Ramlee Awang Mursyid... thumbs up! ^_^ had a talk with Pip mase gi Petronas... talking while having a nice drink of Soya Bean Milk...huhu... kesian kt kwn2 Syirul... sori sgt3... Syirul tk brmaksud nk buat korng risau... serious... i apologise to all of u... sakinah is down with fever tp doctor tu ckp die tk pape... yeah right... doctor2 skrg ni, tu je lah yg dorng tau ckp kot... yesterday Syirul gi klinik,kak Sheila ngn kak Hawa hntr... my back is aching...and i really mean ACHING... until now... doctor tu rase2 blkng Syirul lps tu ckp... "no mucle straining,no muscle swelling so it's fine..." yeah yeah yeah... bile pip nk ckp,die kate... "no no no... die ok..." so i told her lah yg Syirul prnh jatuh mase sem 1 tp die kate tkde kait mengait sbb dh lame jd... well Hello! Syirul dh rase sakit2 sejak jatuh mcm nangka busuk tu lg k... just that i thought it was normal until extival... 3 hari sakit sgt3... nk brdiri lame,jln btl2 pun susah. nk kene duduk byk... tkde pape tp bg Syirul mcm2 ubat saraf... cup! pape lah... an endurance test for me again and again... utk ENCIK NAKAL... i know i know... u don't have to remind me always that u're gone... i'm moving on, alright? tp sakit2 tu tk blh hilang k... asal kn? bkn sakit hati tp physically sakit... (by the way, ni bkn pakse ok... I'M STATING THE TRUTH!)can anyone PLS tell me why i'm always sick and not feeling well bile die tkde eh... ya Allah... doa Syirul trmakbul ke? tp dlm doa tu kn jodoh Syirul... dlm otak... tuuut........... that's it! sejak bende ni jd lh... i can't remember anything properly... mkn mcm biase pun kaki menggigil... cukup rht pun,mate nk trtutup and rase nk rebah... why i'm like this? ya Allah... hny kpdMU aku brlindung... hny ENGKAU yg mengetahui sgale2nye... maka berilh petunjuk buatku yg lemah ini... sesungguhnya, ENGKAU lh Pencipta Hati Nuraniku... Pemilik Nyawa dan Prasaanku... tunjukknlh kebenaran.. dia kah? seandainya dia, maka aku amat brsyukur krn tdk mahu aku mnjd seorg istri yg mengingati dan menyayangi lelaki slain suaminya... aku brmohon kpdMU... ya Rabbul 'Izzah... aku brlindung kpdMU dr sgale kejhtn dan tipu muslihat syaitan... Ameen...Ya Rabbal 'Alamin... doakn sume ok kat sini k... i have only another a year plus to settle this,i think... pls pls pls... smoga rahmat Allah sntiase iringi korng sume... Ameen... p/s: -when someone loses something or someone that is very important to him, he will gradually loses himself... -bile seseorg kehilangn sesuatu atau seseorg yg sgt penting utknya, maka die akn kehilangn dirinya sndiri... Labels: am i really ur light to shine u in the dark? pls take note
Thursday, 9 July 2009 | 1:29 am | 0 star
1st,i have no mood to blog...2nd,i'm not feeling very well again... 3rd,i must say what i need to say...(although i'm tired of this) 1) to all who have helped me a lot... who have gone through sadness whilst happiness along with me... who have always been by my side... watching, worrying, advising, reminding me... who always regard me as their helper in almost anything... I'M VERY HAPPY THAT ALL OF YOU DID WHAT YOU DID... I TRULY APPRECIATE WHAT YOU DID... AND I'M SORRY IF I DO NOT SHOW MY APPRECIATION IN A CORRECT WAY BUT MAKING ALL OF YOU WORRY AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND FEEL UNAPPRECIATED... I'M ABSOLUTELY SORRY... maybe, he is right after all... that i don't appreciate those who love me and those who are with me through my thick and thin... maybe he's right... it's just that, something i dislike may be something you want me to do... and i'm sorry for not listening to all of you... thinking again, i may not be able to express my appreciation through action or words... it's my weakness and i apologise if this has caused anyone to be uneasy... i really DO love all of you... THANK YOU... 2) for my soulmate... i really hopre that some sense will be knocked into you for you to get on your feet and start doing something... ade seseorg ckp, awk duduk dan ikut saja ape yg ditakdirkn utk awk tanpe buat ape2... saye tau awk akn kate..."YE...SAYE MCM TU..." utk kesekian kali, knp msti mengaku tanpe ade kesdrn utk lakukn ape2? igt lh... "Allah tkkn merubah nasib seseorg selg org tu tk brusaha utk mengubah nasibnya..." btl kn? saye tk blh nk kate ape sbb saye pun sygkn mk dan bpk saye... saye dgr dan ikut ckp dorng... mcm tu jgk awk... tp saye cube wlaupun saye takut... wlaupun usaha saye tkkn mengubah pape,tp saye tetap nk cube... sbb saye btl2 nak... sbb ni lh impian saye... byk yg awk dh buat, saye tknk mntk pape lg dr sape2 pun... sbb saye dh cukup menyusahkn... igt tk mase nk masuk klas arab? awk takut,tp awk masuk jgk... saye? saye yg tk masuk... klaupun bkn saye,tkkn awk nk buat mcm ni kt org lain? saye tknk org lain trm ape yg saye trm... saye fhm dh... saye fhm sgt3... awk tk prlu ckp pape pun... sbb saye tau sbnrnye ape yg tgh trjd... tp saye tknk awk menyesal... dan saye tknk saye sndiri menyesal... mane lh tau, tibe2,saye tkde slama2nya, tkkn baru mase tu, awk baru nk sdr mcm yg prnh jd dulu? igt ape saye prnh kate? -kebranian -kesungguhan -ksh syg ni lh penyebab utama yg buat kte smakin nk sesuatu dan brusaha lg dan lg dan lg...smpai kte brjy... saye tk prnh mntk pape lps ape yg dh jd... tk prnh... sbb saye tk layak nk mntk lbh byk lg dr ape yg saye dh ade... saye tkt, saye sedih bile tk dpt ape saye mntkkn... sbb tu, saye tk brani... utk belahan jiwa saye ni... saye doakn,awk sdr dan timbul kebranian satu hari nnt dan nmpk kesungguhan plk...jgn mengaku atau mntk maaf brulng2 kali tanpe buat ape2 atau tanpe mncube... tk gune... brckp lbh senang dr melakukan... tp klau kte tk buat,smpai bile angn2 tu akn trsmpn? angn2,jdkn cita2... insyaAllah blh jd kenyataan... sdr ye...buat lh sesuatu... bkn utk saye... tp utk awk,dan mase dpn awk...smoga Allah nmpkkn awk ape yg saye mksudkn... Ameen... utk smua org yg knl ana,trmasuk awk,belahan jiwa saye... trm ksh sgt3... Syirul tau,Syirul byk trhutang budi... bkn dgn korng je... tp ade lbh rmai lg... Syirul btl tak tau nk bls tu smua mcm mane... Syirul tk tau... i really don't... maafkn ana... i'll try my best again... Syirul akn cube... sekurng2nye skali... Syirul jd penybab korng trsenyum seikhlas hati... trm ksh sgt3... THANK YOU... THANK YOU VERY MUCH TO ALL... i'm going back to KUIS tomorrow... doakn Syirul,Muneerah ngn Rafidah slmt prgi dan slmt smpai k... to my lovely Diela, my dearest friend Afiq, and my adorable Abu... Syirul ngn Muneerah rindu sgt kt korng... korng lh yg slalu lyn kte wlaupun kerenah kte mcm2 kn... hope to see you guys soon... mcm2 nk ckp kt korng... Syirul nk ckp mcm2 sgt... jumpe Jumaat ni tau tau tau... insyaAllah... tu je... i'll update more,insyaAllah... C ya! Labels: do u hear my silent cries at night... since that incident...
Tuesday, 7 July 2009 | 9:27 pm | 0 star
*my head is hurting *my heart is painful *i feel like vomiting *i just want to sleep Labels: if only you can make ur way home now... aku ade harga diri!
| 5:05 pm | 0 star
sanggup ke kte merendah2kn maruah seseorg dgn kate2 ataupun prbuatan? tny diri sndiri.. sanggup ke?-kdg2 dlm tk sdr,kte trbuat mcm tu... sbb kemrhn yg kte rase,kesedihan yg kte alami, dan kte tknk slhkn diri sndiri... at last,kte tuding jari kat org tu dan kate yg die yg nk smua ni brlaku... krn die kte nangis,sbb die kte kecewa... jgn slhkn diri kte, you brought it upon urself! kau adlh penybab kpd ape yg dh trjd pd diri kau skrg ni... tega ke kte buat org yg kte knl dan syg sepenuh hati mcm tu? cume sbb kte nk lindung diri kte sndiri dr rase sakit yg lbh menyeksakn dr sakit yg blh dilht... nk lindung keslhn kte smata2 tknk tanggung sakit tu seorg diri... -> tk adil sgt3... -mcm mane plk bile slama ni kte syg org tu,kte sanggup tlg die sbb die btl2 susah, dan die cume blh mntk tlg kte sbb kte mampu... akhrnye,sbb bosan mungkin die slalu sgt mntk tlg kte,kte buat endah tak endah.. sdgkn,bile die tk mntk tlg pun,kte nk tlg... tp tu dulu... skt2,mntk tlg kte... dlm tk sdr mungkin, kte tk lyn die... walhal,die tk slh pape,tk mntk tlg kte lg pun... tp sbb kte dh bosan,tknk die mntk tlg lg,kte jauhkn diri dr die... buat mcm seolah2 die tkde harga diri dan slalu mntk2... -> mmg kejam... dgr lh... stiap manusia ade harga diri.. knp msti slhkn org lain slalu? sdgkn kte sndiri brslh... cari slh kte, btlkn ape yg tk kena... tegur die dan cube btlkn smua same2... bkn biarkn die trkapai2 trfkr2 mane slhnye yg sbnr... die je ke slh? kte tk? knp tk blh buat same2... knp tk tetap pndirian? knp nk slamatkn diri sorng? tk syg ke kat die lg? sdgkn slama ni,kte yg slalu ade ngn die, susah ataupun senang... tk blh ke prtahankn same2? DIE ADE MARUAH DAN HARGA DIRI... bkn KEEGOAN yg akn trhapus satu hari nnt... kte ade hak kte utk dpt ape yg kte prlukan... knp msti bile senang,kte sntiase ade... bile susah yg dh tk nmpk jln kluar,smuanye die yg tanggung? kt sini... KAU YG PIJAK MARUAH DIRI KAU SNDIRI... jd tlg lh... seorg manusia bkn pape tanpe harga dirinya... jgn pijak maruah org lain... aku pun ade maruah! jgn rendahkn... aku tkkn menagih atau merayu... sbb aku ade hrga diri... dan jgn perkotak-katikkan org lain, kau tk sdr... satu hari nnt bile kau tkde sape2..mungkin die lh yg akn ade dgn kau...wlaupun die tkde harta yg byk mcm kau... *harta yg hilang blh dicari, rezeki yg sdkt Allah blh beri... tp ksh syg yg dh hilang,maruah yg dh trcalar, tk semudah tu kte blh cari lg... tk sesenang tu kte blh raih smua kembali...jd,bila dh ade ksh syg dan maruah dlm genggaman,jg dan lindunginya... bkn kte punya je.. tp org lain jgk... klau dh hilang, tkkn blh didapati dr gaji atau usaha yg blh dilht, tp cume doa dan hrpn yg blh kembalikan 2 prkr yg tramat penting ni... -kata2 dr seorg yg punya maruah dan yg mudah menyayang- Labels: aku nk hilang ingatan..., jika tk dpt back to hometown~!!
Monday, 6 July 2009 | 9:46 pm | 0 star
after wondering whether we can step into our own home again or not this sem holiday because of H1N1, ustaz subari gave us 2 options either to go back home or not... AND OF COURSE! IT'S WONDERFUL TO BE BACK HOME!!! YIPPIE!!! ^_^i sneezed and ustaz subari said... ha! tk blh balik.. H1N1... isy ustaz ni... Nauzubillah sey... went to Alsagoff for its 100 years birthday... hihi... i'm really thankful that i finally can attend the majlis... huhu... serious.. ade nasi briyani,ade muadz... wow! it's marvellous... congrats Alsagoff... like what cikgu Abbas said... "no one who is born today get to see 100 years to come..." come to think of it... some can... hihi.. but he's correct after all... Alhamdulillah... Abu told me their programme in Dakwah is a success... congrats to you guys ok... mcm mane lh programme dakwah kte ni minggu dpn... mntk2 ok... Ameen... pls pls pls let it be fine... -_- so many things have happenend in KUIS and in Spore... mcm biase sem ni,nk balik sini brt hati,nk balik sane pun brt hati... isy isy isy... amat tk suke ye... and finally Alhamdulillah... me and Muneer are already getting along with our classmates! me? adk bongsu eh... Azri abg Long... hikhik... hmm... ape lg eh? ha! nk bli baju protokol utk extival,nk bli blazer... wednesday ni nk jumpe Muneer utk programme dakwah... tp thursday ni nk balik KUIS dh... alaaaaah.... mcm2 nye... holiday work lg... sblm ustaz Husni trsyg mengeluarkn kate2 yg 'amat indah digr',lbh baik Syirul hbskn krj die... k2... kak Yu nk pkai ni... pape, i'll update again... signing out... ^_^ -Syirulhuda- Labels: pls wait for me and don't forget me and don't stop loving me... pls... |
