Hi there! You've entered the dreaming land of a twinkling star~ (^_^)
I'm nothing but an ordinary girl with sweet and painful memories~
It's hard to make me talk as I'm not quite friendly~
If you want to know more, read my posts, you'll know me~
Struggling to live in this not-forever world~
Islam is my religion!
I swear that there is no other God except for ALLAH and MUHAMMAD is the messenger of ALLAH! (^_^)

Wishes, Dreams, Du'a

-To be a solehah daughter~
-To be a solehah wife~
-To be a solehah mother~
-To be a solehah 'abdullah~
-To be a able to teach and make my children understand Islam and this world~

THOSE ARE MY WISHES.. CAN YOU HELP ME FULFILL IT? (^_^)

March 2009

April 2009

May 2009

June 2009

July 2009

August 2009

September 2009

October 2009

November 2009

January 2010

March 2010

April 2010

May 2010

January 2012

February 2012

May 2012

June 2012

July 2012

August 2012

September 2012

October 2012

January 2013

My tumblr <3

Kak Maryam <3

Hudaidy Hady <3

Nisa' Tumblr <3

Nisa' <3

Juenne <3

Maryna <3

I received a shocking news from bestie 2 nights before.. A very shocking news that make me scared because I've dreamt about this person twice.. and suddenly his name appears.. trying to find the reason why I went away..

Ilaika.. you already have that special person and I pray for your happiness. I'm truly happy right now with my family, my bestfriend, my friends, and my beloved him by my side.. They really care for me and accept me for who I am despite my mistakes, my weaknesses and my flaws.. I think it's time for you to let go.. You're not supposed to remember anything about me and so do I.. I know it's hard to forget but please try.. I don't want anyone to get hurt because since I left, I've been through the pain that changed my whole life and also myself..

Ilaika.. Please don't make the mistake twice.. It's hard to change but if you're really persistant to find the blessings of Allah, surely, He will help you.. believe me. and I also am trying really hard to change. Allah has given me a beautiful person to guide me and change together with me.. Motivates me, and cares for me so much.. So please, don't come near me or try to find reasons or ask for me.. More than one person will get hurt..

Ilaika.. I don't think I'm important to you anymore because I'm just a part of your past.. and there are more important things to you than myself, and I put myself in a place where you don't even need me anymore. So yes, I'm not an important person anymore. So please care for that person's feelings and stop mentioning my name or my bestfriend's name.. It's hurting their hearts.

I hope you'll never appear in front of me anymore, never let me hear your voice and never let me know about your life. Because it's over and it's been long since we have to move on.. I've moved on. and I know you also do.

P/S for my beloved husband, no matter where you are: Pls take care of me, as I will try my best to take care of you. and pls shower me with endless love until akhirat with the blessings of Allah, I'll shower you with the same love too.. (^__^)

-Syirulhuda- Aku tak setaat Khadijah.
Aku tak sebaik Siti Fatimah.
Aku tak penyayang seperti Siti Aisyah.
Aku tak secantik Zulaikha.
Aku tak sesolehah Rabi'atul Adawiyah.

Itu perumpamaan yang Syirul boleh bagi kat diri Syirul sendiri. Syirul sangat sangat sangat tak sempurna. Dan tak ada spe2 knl spe Syirul sbnrnya.. apa kat hati Syirul.. apa Syirul dah lalui selama ni.

"Don't judge anyone because you don't know how their life is and what they are going through..."

Right. You may be the cause of someone who became a bad person. Maybe it's because you had done something wrong to her. But you never realize the wrongs that you did and what you think is you never did anything wrong.. Ahuh.. Think twice,dear. There must be something wrong somewhere.

Saya tak secantik awak apatah lagi tahap cantiknya Zulaikha.
Saya tak sepro awak untuk bergaul dan bersosial dengan orang apatah lagi tahap nak berkwn dgn smua gender.
Saya tak sebagus dan sebaik awak untuk smua orang pandang saya tinggi melangit.

Syirul sbnrnya tak perlukan tu smua kan.. Tapi manusia ni tamak sangat sampai nakkan semua perhatian utk dia sorang. Nak jd popular. Nak disukai ramai. Ada baiknya, ada tak baiknya. Think twice again,dear.

Sbb Syirul ni tak lah baik. prnah buat slh yg jht sgt, smpai kdg-kdg rasa mcm hipokrit bila post psl prkr-prkr yang baik utk perbaiki diri sndri dgn org lain.

"Nak ajak org buat baik konon.. konon je la.. mcm la dia tu baik sgt.. mcm la dia tu tk prnh buat jht.. pdahal dah prnh buat jht.. mcm la org lain tak tau die prnh buat jht.. jd tk pyh la nak step baik sgt.. post bnde2 baik kt fb.. talam dua muka.."

Apa lg.. Hati pn berbisik jahat. Syaitan da mula masuk jarum utk buat kte rse kte tak layak buat bnde baik skt. Apa slhnya.. da buat jht byk, tak blh buat baik lngsung ke?

Hati pun mula bersangka buruk kat org. Dorng pndng slack, pandang tu pandang ni. Astaghfirullah.. Smoga tak ada spe2 pn brfkr mcm tu..

Jd conlusion? nak buat baik, buat je.. tak pyh bersangka buruk kat pndngn org lain. Sbb kalau kte fkr sgt psl apa org ckp psl kte, bnde tk baik je kluar kat fkrn.. Dan itu kn dr syaitan..

So apa lg? buat tak tau dan teruskan....... *wink*

-Syirulhuda-


A: "Kalau dugaan datang bertimpa-timpa tu maknanya Allah sayang.."

B: "Tak jgk.. kadang-kadang tu maknanya kita banyak buat dosa.."

A: "Kalau macam tu, sakit yang Allah bagi adlh salah satu dugaan buat kita.. dan sakit adalah kaffarah dosa klau kita tak merungut atau mengeluh kan.. kaffarah dosa agar azab kat akhirat nnti berkurang ats dosa-dosa yg kita dah buat kat dunia ni.. jadi maknanya, Allah sayang jgk kan.."

B: "......."

Betul kan.. bukan nak sedapkan hati sendiri.. tapi ada seorang kawan pesan, sentiasa bersangka baik pada Allah.. Allah sayangkan hamba-hambaNYA lebih dari seorang ibu kasihkan anaknya dan itu adalah benar.
Allah cuma mintak kita sembah DIA, sanjung DIA, puja DIA. Tapi kita manusia memang degil, tak sempurna dan masih nak buat dosa.. Bila kita sedar, kita nak insaf, ujian dan dugaan dtg bertimpa-timpa. Masa tu lah Allah nak uji.. kuat atau tidak diri kita.. sungguh atau tidak kita nak berubah.. mengeluh atau bersyukur kita krn Allah nak kaffarahkan dosa-dosa kita..

Kadang-kadang kita tak sedar,kita mengeluh bersungguh-sungguh..

"Aduh sakitnya... kenapalah aku sakit.."

"Hisy asik sakit tak habis-habis.. Bila nak sihat ni??"

Itu mengeluh namanya.. Bila kita tersedar, cakaplah "Astaghfirullah".. Smoga Allah ampunkan kita kerana dlm tak sdr, kita mengeluh..

Sekarang mungkin tgh dlm proses mengharungi dugaan.. Jadi, semoga Allah ampunkan Syirul sbb tak sdr slalu mengeluh kesah...

Astaghfirullah..

-Syirulhuda-


The thought of it spoils my mood, my emotions, even my happiness..
The thought of it makes me shiver, makes me blank, that I can't think of anything positive..
The thought of it makes me want to run, to go far away, and never look back, start a new life..

What thought? What kind of thought that makes me feel this way? That makes me feel that my life and happiness have been ripped away from me? Promise me you won't laugh. Because it's a thought of my past.

The past that brings pain when i recall it.
The past that brings bitter memories I want to erase badly from my mind.
The past that brings nothing but fear and insecurity of my future.

I have to trust. I have to believe. I have to and I need to.

Come to think of it, I'm so grateful to Allah that he gives me only girlfriends and very few guyfriends. Very few that it's not even near to the word 'close' for friends. Very thankful as it helps me a lot in taking care of my heart, my mind, my dream.

I stumbled upon a post/status in FB. A status that I should be happy for actually, but brought me fear instead. What if it happens again? What if he turns his back to me again? What if I can only watch and get hurt like in the past? and those what ifs come to my mind. This really tire me out. Suck out all my energy and leave me worn out, thinking and getting a bad headache and heartache in the end.

Will he do the same mistakes again if that person appears in our life once more? Will I get hurt again? Will he purposely act like he doesn't care but actually does? I want him to be sincere in what he feels, in what he wants to be.. Because that kind of acting will only hurt me more.

And so, I don't want to see anything, I don't want to hear anything, I don't want to say anything, and I don't want to get hurt for anything.

I'm trying my best to avoid and prevent myself from doing the same mistakes. So please, leave me alone. I don't want to hurt my pride as a woman, as a human being, and as a muslim.

It's not that I hate being friends with these people. It's just that I don't want to be the only person who get hurt in the end and blame others' for what I feel. I don't want to make that mistakes anymore.. So please... leave.

-Syirulhuda-



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