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Little Dreaming Star I'm Syirul.. Thanks for your visit.. Welcome to my stories, my emotions, my memories.. (^_^) Taggie Board Credits Template by : Nurul Ain Re-edited by : Sarah Yasmin Basecode : Nazihah Anuar

born again! Saturday, 27 June 2009 | 2:47 pm | 0 star yippie....!!!!!!!!!! it's been so long bloggy!!! miss you miss you miss you! hihi... hye to all! ^_^ it's been some time since the last time i updated me blog... thinking of changing the skin but there seems to be some problem with the wireless no? if only there's broadband... and thnks much much much to Feesa for lending me her laptop.. thnks cutie pony.. guess what? i was born again! huhu... just kidding... but seriously,i feel like this since i went to Kulai after so much of obstacles...had to wait for 3WEEKS to get my passport back... broke down a few times... *klau aku jht,kene org yg hntr pasport to ngn aku...* at last,bpk call,baru die bg... that night itself,my parents with cik Yah and wak Cob fetched me... thought of going to Kulai that night but then again... it was late at night so i just didn't want to trouble anybody anymore... *ALL THESE HAPPENED LAST WEEK* so on Monday, we went to Malaysia early in the morning and finally... FINALLY... after going through the hurdles and obstacles,i met this person and i love that day... *it's hard to tell what happened there so just let me keep to myself* but... something so simple had happened and the effect is greater than any of the things that had occured to me... i want to go there again and i'll make sure i will... tho good thing is, mom and dad love the place too... also cik Yah and wak Cob.. it's a relief... i'll just let you know one thing. *the place is very near to my family's 'story'* but that'story' is a secret too... so i have to syyy... ^_^ thnks a lot and a lot and a lot to my very special someone... it has something to do with him and that's what i want to tell... he: _ _ _ tu belahan jiwa die... sbb tu klau _ _ _ tkde die dh cari kt mane _ _ _ btl tk? i was like... tuuuuuuuut... dlm hati... mane die tau aku mcm ni... and everyone was like trnganga sbb die serious ckp mcm tu. mk mcm "eh...!" and he... he: btl... _ _ _ tu bdk baik. knl die dr kck lg... handsome tk die? and i was like dh brpeluh2... jantung pun dh DAP DUP DAP DUP... i just smiled and laugh.. what did you expect me to say? i just want to go there again... just I'M VERY SORRY that i can't tell in detail... i don't know why... just like this someone said,it's hard to believe... yes. it's not easy to believe... but i just believe and it happened... i'm ok now... i really am ok now... believe it or not... maybe certain people will say... -btl ke? -kene hati2 nnt 'die' dtg lg... -btl ni dh sht? YES I AM... that thing is still in this world but not in me... yes maybe it will come back that's why i need to go there again... it's not finish yet... just suplicate for me ok? that's more than enough... ^_^ for u guys that have been worrying and helping me... i love you and thank you... i am fine now... insyaAllah... Ameen... ^_^ so that's that... lpr gile ni... nk mkn... pip ngn KIna dh pnggl2... i'll try to update more soon... there's so much to tell so c ya! -Syirulhuda- Labels: my soulmate is him...Ameen... aduhai... Wednesday, 10 June 2009 | 4:00 pm | 0 star soo... what? hmmm... after reading kak ayu's blog,i forgot to say something especially to Afiq,Muzakkir and you Abu... klau awk bace lah... hihi... lots of thanks and many sorries are not going to repay all of you... but still... i'm going to say these thanks and sorries... Terima kasih dan sorry sgt3... thnks Afiq sbb dh 2 kali drivekn Syirul gi hospital when i was struggling to breathe... thanks to Muzakkir sbb tlg hntr kak Ayu balik dan hntr Syirul gi hospital... and Abu... thnks sbb cari org yg tau gi hospital serdang dan pecut motor tu utk smpai ke org tu dan trm ksh sbb ikut. klau tkde ni 3 mase due kali tu,wallahualam ape jd... actually,i was very aware of what happenened and what all of you did those nights... just tak blh nk kate ape sbb keadaan yg tk mengizinkn... and sorry... sorry sgt3 sbb susahkn korng 3 ni yg baik hati sgt3... wlaupun tgh ade krj,tp tetap ade... specially for you... thnks for ur concern... it means a lot to me... so... ape jd 2 mlm ni? TERUK. tu je 1 word yg blh describe. tp mcm yg kte tau,sume kesusahan adlh ujian dan dugaan wlaupun sbnrnye tu satu nikmat. kpd semua yg tk trsebut name2 especially my spore friends,yg duk serumah dan yg kt dpn tu.. my msia friends yg turut mengambil brt dan kakak2 tryg yg sntiasa ambk tau perkmbangn Syirul dan mmbantu,THANK YOU... klau blh balas kebaikan korng,Syirul akn balas. tp Allah lbh mengetahui dan smoga korng semua ni mndpt kebaikan yg sebaik2nya.. Ameen... now... nope. just couldn't get my passport and so i have to wait until next week... just pray that i can hold on for another week and to not collapse again and again... to gather all my strength so that i'll keep myself safe... it's hard but i'm going to do it now and then.. td kluar je dr korporat,i burst into tears while calling mom as i broke down for having so much problems that are unsettled still... poor Muneer... tgh nangis2 tu,die tgh pujuk,sempat lah beberapa manusia yg knl die menegur... nsb baik lps tu hbs nangis. then trserempak 'ayah' a.k.a. abg Hafiz Hafifi yg trsgt slalu merisaukn daku... almk... kene klentong skt ni ckp pnt pdhl nangis.. huhu... tp mmg pnt pun tau. tk tipu tu... tak2... mane ade kn3... then tgh crite2 ngn Afifah kt rmh... my phone rang so i took the call... bdk ni dh lh ckp skt nye kasar kn... tp dgr suare die je blh jd sedih sbb tgh sedih...jd... tresak2 lh aku menangis... si die yg tgh brckp dgn penuh kekasaran ni tibe2 je... "yul... yul... knp nangis ni..." (out of concern nye suare) mase tu... nk ktw je tp kesedihan mengatasi sgale2nye... huhu... thnks for ur concern k... i appreciate it a lot... thnks thnks thnks to this someone... mungkin ape jd skrg ni tak mnjamin pape... but no one knos what is in store in HIS hands for us... mane lah tau... mane lah tau je... so that's that... going to c ya soon alright? signing out... ^_^ what is LIFE? Thursday, 4 June 2009 | 3:01 pm | 0 star KEHIDUPAN... mcm yg Syirul slalu kena buat... letak telapak tangan kat dada, tutup mata, senyap, rasa denyutan jantung kte dan fkr... APA TU KEHIDUPAN? hidup Syirul msh blm cukup utk Syirul jwb soalan tu... trlbh lg sbgi remaja... Syirul tk tau jwpn kpd soalan yg Syirul sndiri tny diri sndiri dan org lain... sbb Syirul msh cari lg siapa Syirulhuda yg sbnr... btl tk? i read my diary... everything was so lovely... my new life, my new chapter of novel, it's so beautiful that i nearly cried... but days went by,and came that stories of miseries... sedih sgt bile kte bace kehidupan kte yg lalu, penuh dgn senyuman,kgmbiraan, suddenly... OUT OF SUDDEN... BOOM! change... change until now... prnh tk rase... rindu pd kehidupan lama kte? you know... when i was able to smile or laugh and i meant it when i did it... but now... stiap kali senyum atau ktw... FAKE. that's the only word that can describe my feelings,my situation. -_- so what's going to happen? no real smile, no meaning laughter... just FAKE ONES... how despicable... how pathetic... you must be bored... reading these kind of stuff... about miseries and all... tringin sgt nk Syirul yg dulu.. serious... Syirul dh pnt sgt... i must do something about it now... and i mean... MUST. smlm dan beberapa ari sblm ni... Syirul kene lg... yes yes i know... i can't cry now... even now,when i'm typing,i'm shivering... tp tk tau knp... Syirulhuda teruk sgt skrg ni... teruk sgt3... pls can i live my life properly... ya Allah... tlglh... andai ade seseorg yg KAU utuskn utk membantuku,maka biarlah dia muncul skrg... waktu ini... saat ini dan aku sedar akn kehadirannya... ya Allah... hny KAU yg blh mengubah semuanya... hny KAU ya Rabb... maka bantulh aku... pls... someone... help... ya Allah... aku kehilangn satu persatu krn ini shj... aku kehilangn cukup byk ya Allah... mungkin krn aku trlalu byk mlakukn dosa... ampunkn aku... aku mrayu... ampunkn aku...kembalikn aku yg dulu ya Allah.. aku yg mampu trsenyum dan ktw riang... yg menyayangi semua yg aku ada... yg mnghargai sgala2nya... aku yg dulu... aku mohon ya Rahim... kembalikan aku... hey!!! Friday, 29 May 2009 | 1:40 pm | 0 star okay... what's with the sudden 'naqibah' thing when i'm not supposed to be in it? it's all his fault cause he thought about it... >_<, it's all because of him him him...! man... i was frozen shocked when i saw my name ias written nicely and clearly on that noticeboard... 0813002 Syirulhuda Bt Ahmad Penasihat: Ustazah............(secret) Tempat: 2229 (enth Bt atau Bs) oh wow... really very obviously my name... and his name is right there too... when i told him,he was surprised too but this thing once strucked him before and so... I POINT MY FINGER TO HIM! the thing is.. naqibah sey... ade ayat "tak layak" pusing2 around my head... and what i'm going to say with those new students? i've no idea cause following right by the book is totally boring.. you need to discuss in a usrah... understand? it's my opinion by the way... that's why i'm like... *tuuuuuut i've been busy with Muneer editing the proposal here and there, running everywhere just to meet up with Afiq and abu bacause of lajnah's programme... it's the first one that Afiq has to handle and he's been quite busy not just with lajnah thing... poor him... and pity Abu too as he's been very hardworking,helping Afiq and all... and i've been with Muneer... once we step into campus,there's no way of getting out except we finish our tasks fot that day... it's hard but i've gained much experience for future insyaAllah... poor Muneer... she's having her hard time too... it's ok Muneer... i'm here with you... ganbatte!!! and now i'm sitting with mind full of kotor tk blkng... mcm tgh tk slesa kn... Sakinah bg kunci td but now she's stuck at the living room as she can't enter our room because her keys are with me... huhuhu... kesian Sakinah... nk balik tp tk blh... i can't leave muneer... helping he i smy job... but poor Sakinah too... why did i forget to take my keys at the first place...? sorry sgt3... okay... that's all i think... and i'm kind of pusing2 kepala fkr byk secretary's things to think of... yg herannye,sume secretary ok... wow... Allah really granted me my wish... Alhamdulillah... thnk you Allah... ^_^ okay... that's for now... signing out... tajuk ape ye nk bg...? Saturday, 23 May 2009 | 3:18 pm | 0 star okay...! first of all and all and all... SO SORRY SBB DH LAME TK UPDATE BLOG... SORRY MY BLOGGY! huhu... ok... things are getting better at my side... although it's hard but life is life.... ade yg kate... "hidup ni mcm basikal... klau nk basikal tu gerak,kena lah kayuh..." dan... "hidup kt KUIS plk mcm berenang kt tgh lautan... nk patah balik dh jauh,jd kena teruskn jgk... jd,doa dan brtawakkal agar smpai ke tmpt yg ingin dituju..." thnks to Fida sbb bgtau ana due2 ni smlm... and thnks to that someone sbb bgtau mase Fida ade dan Fida dpt pass kt Syirul... ^_^ seminggu yg lalu?? TOUGH but FUN! ta'arruf mmg fun tp pd Syirul lh... mmg mase Syirul ta'arruf lg fun sbb mase tu Syirul tk buat krj,Syirul jd student mase tu... hikhik... tp skrg,i'm one of the facilitator utk biro kebajikan... syg biro kebajikan... thnks to abg Hafiz,kak Teha,Wan,Naim,Along dan Mukhlis... thnks also to kak Adah,kak Su,kak Dijah,kak Seha,kak Nisa,kak Niki,my lovely pony,NAFEESAH and the most loveable kak Jamilah... ^_^ saayang korng sume... sbb byk tunjuk ajr Syirul dlm buat krj dan jd petunjuk yg baik bg Syirul... to abg Hafiz... thnks sgt sbb ambk Syirul jd facilitator utk biro kebajikan sbb tu adlh satu peluang bg Syirul utk lbh mengenali manusia,rgam-ragam nya,yg mane buat Syirul lbh mengenali diri Syirul sndiri dan mmberi pengalamn yg amat brguna... thnk u so much... ^_^ jadual tk kluar lg so bile tgk yg lain sibuk sane sini gi klas mcm jealous giller giller giller gitu... tp ade jgk prasaan tknk prgi klas lngsung... adelh knp... syy... hihi... tk sbr nye nk mule bljr.. nk mule ade byk assignment... no more last minute assignment k Syirul... igt tu baik2... haila haila... kdg2 utk certain things yg Syirul amat tknk igt,Syirul hrp Syirul dpt amnesia utk prkr tu... so i'll be able to move on dgn senyuman yg bermakna... bkn dgn senyuman yg trpaksa dan tdk memaksudknnya... i miss MOM & DAD... nk sgt balik Spore jumpe mk dan bpk... tp mslhnye,bile dh balik Spore,jgn hrp lh nk nmpk Syirul balik KUIS lg... hihi... jht btl aku ni... ok... byk nye lh aku nk update... enth org bace atau tdk... huhu... i collapsed again... biase lah... Syirul ni kn sensitive giller... bkn Syirul yg sensitive actually... pnt lh... pnt sgt tau... sbb prkr ni,sbb bende ni,byk yg Syirul kehilangn... tp... Syirul... jgn mengeluh k... sume yg trjd ade hikmahnye... and so... Syirul nk kene jgk prgi brubat dan trs brubat smpai Syirul sht dan brsih mcm satu waktu dulu... Ameen... pls pls pls... doakn lh ade jln utk Syirul prgi brubat... Ya Allah... tlg lh... please... ok... that's that for now... ^_^ may Allah be with all of you readers always and forever... Ameen... hard time eh... Tuesday, 12 May 2009 | 3:59 pm | 0 star ok... how do i start... tomorrow we're going to register ourselves at KUIS.... akhrnye... Alhamdulillah.. after menempuhi dugaan2 yg melanda... (mcm btl jek...) kte brjy jgk jejakkn kaki di RMH LAME KTE!!!!!!!! YAY FOR US!!!!! WOOHOO!!!! huhu... merepek kn... tp tu lh yg Syirul rase... lega sgt3... amat lega yg tramat... thnks to the MT of ta'arruf yg settlekn benda ni sdkt sebyk... thnk u so much... everything is still the same in that house of ours... just have this distant feeling but i don't know why and what causes me to feel like this... have i told you? i CRIED FOR THE FIRST TIME when mom and dad sent me here... i just feel like i want to go back to Spore and i don't want to return here ever again... FOR THE FIRST TIME, Syirulhuda is actually feeling like that! how amazing... hihi... it's just that everything is different yet they all look the same... it's like it's not my place and i'm not supposed to be here... it's a very weird feeling for me... i actually don't feel happy at all coming back to KUIS... i've never felt like this before... it's annoying as i have always been happy evry time i'm back here... i can still study and look upon my future with head held high... but this semester is very unnatural... u understand? i hate this... i hate feelings that make me uneasy with myself... i always look at the mirror before i go out... bile tgk crmin tu,senyum lh kn... it's FAKE... bkn senyum je fake... sume kt sini fake... sume dlm dunia ni fake... sumenye penipuan... there's no hapiness at all... every way i turned to,and where ever i looked at,it's all 'not-my-place'... it's all dark and false and fake and no smiles... just people crying bitterly,finding fault with fate... just some people who know not the meaning of happiness... am i starting to be one of them? i think so... Jgn Tipu Diri Sendiri... Seolah2 Menipu ILLAHI... Seakan2 Menidakkan Takdir Yang Dah Tertulis Untuk Insani... tp bkn ke Syirul tgh mcm tu? knp? it's my little secret if i find out... Takdir Yang Baik Memang Sudah Tertulis Sebelum Kita Melakukan Kebaikan Itu... Tetapi Takdir Yang Tidak Baik,Tidak Akan Tertulis Selagi Kita Belum Melakukan Kejahatan Itu... Ini Kerana,ALLAH Sangat Sayang Kepada Kita... Di Mana Inilah Waktunya Untuk Kita Membezakan Haiwan Dan Manusia... Dan Yang Membezakan Antara Dua Makhluk Ini Ialah AKAL FIKIRAN... kasar sangat ke bahasa2 ni? tapi rasanya... tu lah kenyataan... betul tak? Sorry klau Syirul trgunakan bahasa yang kasar atau buat sape2 tak selesa dgn apa yg Syirul dh tulis ni... maaf sgt3... akhr kate,Ta'arruf mmg memenatkan... -_- -Syirulhuda- a day in KUIS Monday, 4 May 2009 | 10:50 pm | 0 star the thought of coming back to KUIS excites me... yeah... so excited that i didn't even think about any hardships that were to come.. (man... has my english gone frm bad to worse?) -_-" my parents sent me back to KUIS after 3 days in Selangor... waited for Ju and Sakinah to come to join me as i knew that they will be coming back today,i just waited for them to arrive so that we can search for an unlocked room together to stay for induction this week... so... we have to stay in the old hostel as the new one is on some renovation process or something like that... so the 2 girls had not eaten anything yet... sakinah had to go for meeting straight after she arrived... while Ju and I had to struggle taking the luggages upstairs to the 4th floor... (and i mean... really by STAIRS... STAIRS...) man... so exhausted but we still went to campus to attend a programme after solat in Azhar mosque... that's one thing... the particular night was really a disaster for us... a real TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, MISERABLE night for us... we went out after isya' thinking that the cafe was open so we can grab a bite there... but... it was closed so we walked down to the gate to see if there're any 'prebet' we can take a ride from... but we ended up sitting outside the gate looking at the cars passing by us... i had never imagined that i would get 'stranded' there in a state of hunger and waiting for something that is never to come... irritated,i called my dad and asked him to pick me up and take me back to Spore... and i'm DEAD SERIOUS... a test... just a test from Allah and i am already like this... feeling worried,my dad called kak Ayu and coincidentally,she was outside to buy food so she bought us food and we ate at last... it was really a relief. i am always like this... taking others' help would make me cry... but Alhamdulillah... this is what we call... "arrizqu minas sama'".. huhu... i am waiting impatiently for my room and my not-so-cosy bed... it's better than here... far more better... this hostel really need to be cleaned... SERIOUS... so friends that are coming tomorrow... just be patient with the situation when you get here tomorrow ok... gd luck... ^_^ Ya Allah... prmudahknlh prjlnn kami... ikhlaskn lh hati kami menempuhi dugaan2 ini... Ameen... OLDER POST | NEWER POST