Little Dreaming Star
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back to Msia~
Monday, 31 August 2009 | 10:54 am | 0 star
Syirul tk tau nk buat ape lg,nk ckp mcm mane lg... Syirul cume blh mntk maaf kat org yg Syirul dh janji tu... jauh dlm hati Syirul... Syirul msh mntk kat Allah... mntk sgt3... smoga satu ari nnt die balik dan dtg kat Syirul utk die... brt btl hati Syirul... brt sgt3... td mk tgk calander,utk tgk bile mk nk dtg,bwk brg2 Syirul balik Spore.. mk dh suruh Syirul pack skt2... Syirul pun rase mcm tu.. klau tk nnt,bile Syirul balik Spore,msti kecoh gile angkat brg2 Syirul sorng kn... hihi... girls... i'm going now... wish me luck... kul 12.30 nnt,nk kluar dh.. bas plk kul 3... hmm.. mcm mane agknye nnt bile Syirul dh kat sini... it'll not be the same,i'm sure of that... bt maybe this is the best for me... Ameen... sometimes i feel,when i'm stepping away from KUIS,a miracle will happen that will let me stay until the end of 3 yrs... but i don't know if that's true... if it does happen,then it's a chance for me to face what i faced in KUIS again,it's a test of my strength... pls let me be strong after this,ya Rabb... tp bile fkr balik,lbh byk advantages dr disadvantages bile Syirul brhnti... dan bile Syirul brhnti,Syirul mmprtaruhkn sesuatu,dan risiko nye amat tinggi skali... jd ape2 yg trjd,Syirul akn redha... i really have to prepare for the worst for this... ya Allah... tlg lh jgn sprti yg tdk aku mahukn... aku mohon... Ameen... Syirul mntk,trskn prjuangn korng kat sane k kwn2 Syirul... trskn prjuangn Syirul jgk... igt dulu,Syirul org yg paling excited nk masuk KUIS smpai mk ngn bpk balik pun Syirul tk nangis... i was strong then... but not now... korng jgn brhnti bljr k... igt niat asal dtg KUIS... jgn sesekali lupe... utk awk... saye tawakkal dgn Allah klau psl awk... tp jgn berhnti bljr dan kbrkatan Allah sgt penting utk kte carik ilmu... klau tau ape yg awk buat tu slh, awk jgn lh buat... awk seorg pljr... tk blh smbarang je tau... gd luck k... balik dan dtg lh... utk saye dan utk awk... Ameen... smoga Allah merahmati... thnx to all for all... ^_^ gd luck for our Xm... may we all pass with flying colours... Ameen... ya Rabbal 'Alameen... Labels: it's not about what we want but what we need and i need u... quitting~
Saturday, 29 August 2009 | 8:40 pm | 0 star
no one expects it.. including me... i came back to spore to convince my mom that i'll be ok if i continue in kuis... but instead of me,mom convinced me that i sholud quit... and i'm convinced by mom.. hmm...saye mntk maaf,awk.. saye tau saye dh janji.. tp pd hari awk brjy nnt,saye akn dtg utk tgk awk..same ade dr jauh atau saye dtg dkt awk.. jgn lupekn saye... jgn lupekn kte.. cari lh diri awk.. knali diri awk.. fhmi diri awk.. sbb tu asas utk awk syg diri awk.. dan bile awk syg diri awk,awk blh syg org lain sepenuh hati awk.. trm ksh sume sbb slalu ade ngn syirul.. tp syirul tknk susahkn sape2 lg... trm ksh sgt3... Labels: i love u.. balik ke ni~
Friday, 28 August 2009 | 9:38 am | 0 star
DIA JHT!!tp baik... hikhik... YAY SPORE!! I"M COMING BACK HOME!!! Labels: i hope u'll see it and realize it one day... ape jd lps ni~
Thursday, 27 August 2009 | 4:08 pm | 0 star
lps Syirul brbual ngn mk, bincang ngn mk... last, we decide that i'm going to quit from KUIS... dan Syirul pun rase tu jln trbaik utk sume lg2 seseorg tu... klau ianya menenangkan bile Syirul tkde,Syirul akn tkde... smpai bile2...tp bile Syirul fkr balik,Syirul sygkn Usuluddin... dan Syirul nk trskn. Wlaupun tu brmakne Syirul akn trs lukekn hati Syirul sndiri utk graduate dan buat mk ngn bpk bangga,Syirul nk trskn.. wlaupun tu brmakne lps ni Syirul akn jd seseorg yg keras hati dan trpakse buat sesuatu utk trskn kehidupan kat sini,Syirul akn buat.. utk lindung diri Syirul sndiri... jd,Syirul akn bincang lg dgn mk ngn bpk... bile2 skalipun,Syirul akn balik Spore dan akn bincang balik... Syirul tkkn tngglkn ni sparuh jln sbb Syirul seorg manusia yg brpendirian... Syirul nk knl diri Syirul sndiri dan Syirul akn jg diri Syirul sndiri... Syirulhuda binti Ahmad ade MARUAH dan HARGA DIRI... khas utk mk ngn bpk~~ trm ksh mk... sbb slalu ade dgn Syirul... tk ksh jatuh bangun mcm mane pun Syirul,mk slalu ade.... btl ckp mk... cume seorg mk yg akn brtahan dgn anknye... skali atau due kali kte jatuh,org akn bantu... tp lame2, org akn jd bosan... dorng tkkn snggup dgn kte... btl,mk... Syirul dh nmpk sndiri... trm ksh sgt,mk... Syirul tknk kecewekn mk... syg mk sgt3... trm ksh bpk sbb slalu trskn usehe dan tanggungjwb bpk utk pastikn ank2 bpk dpt yg trbaik... Syirul nk trskn... syirul tkkn brhnti... syirul nk buktikn kat org yg bpk Syirul pndai... sbb tu ank2 nye blh brjy... Syirul akn buktikn ape yg org ckp kat bpk tu slh... Syirul akn trskn jgk... trm ksh... syg bpk sgt3... trm ksh jgk kpd yg trdkt dgn Syirul,yg slalu ade dgn Syirul mase Syirul nangis... maafkn Syirul sbb slalu buat korang risau... hrp korang tkkn bosan ngn Syirul k... -nk brkwn dgn org,kte bkn cume trm baiknye je,tp keburuknnye jgk tk kire teruk mane pun die... bkn bls ape yg die buat kat kte... tp sdrkn die... nk brkwn dgn org,kte kene knl dan fhm die... buat stakat ckp je kte fhm,tp dgn tunjukkn... -nk menyayangi seseorg,kte kene knl dan syg diri kte sndiri... bkn rosakkn diri kte dan ikut kehendak hati mase mncari diri kte... tp ikut jln yg btl.. mntk petunjuk yg btl... ikut akal fkrn... bkn hati dan prasaan je... TU YG MEMBEZAKN ANTR MANUSIA DGN HAIWAN... Labels: thnks for everything cause i see it now... ATTENTION PLS~
Saturday, 22 August 2009 | 2:37 pm | 0 star
first of all... i don't know what happenened to my surroundings... everything is changing when actually i don't need these changes the most... hmm... if i'm wrong, then i'm sorry... really really really sorry for the mistakes i've done to all of you... for the troubles i've caused you... i apologize...for some people,yg resah tgk cara kehidupan Syirul skrg ni... yg rase rimas tgk Syirul ke hulu ke hilir... keluar byk2 dr KUIS.. yg risau trsgt3 tkt Syirul brubah... dan rase Syirul menjauh dan rase Syirul brubah... YES I'VE CHANGED! hihi... dan prubahan Syirul pd Syirul sndiri,bkn sesuatu yg baik... prubahan Syirul bkn mengarah kpd kebaikan... yes i know.... and i realize it... but because of this kesedaran diri,Syirul tgh brusaha sesungguh2 Syirul utk cari diri Syirul yg sbnr... utk jd seseorg yg Syirul prnh jd satu hari dulu... because i miss myself... Syirul ade satu mslh... dan mslh ni mmg trlalu amat menyakitkn Syirul smpai Syirul jd hilang focus pd pljrn... sesuatu yg Syirul amat takuti... it's really scaring me if u want to know... i'm trying to stand back on my own feet... but i don't want all of u to see.. mcm ni lh... ade sesuatu trjd dan Syirul dh nmpk niat Syirul dtg sini... niat yg kebykn rmai org dh lupe sbb sibuk dgn urusan masing2 iaitu nk cari ilmu... nk banggakan mk bpk kte... tny lh diri sndiri... are you really sure that you didn't forget? confirm? confident? bgs nye klau mcm tu... Syirul trs trg... dan mengaku yg Syirul trlupe... tp trm ksh sbb keadaan ni yg mengigtkn Syirul kembali pd niat asal Syirul... ye Syirul byk kluar dr KUIS.. byk kluar dgn Muneerah,Diela dan kdg2,Abu pun ade... but believe me... Abu byk tlg Syirul... klau ade yg fkr,Syirul mengenali Abu adlh satu kesilapan,then that's a terrible mistake... Abu byk ajr Syirul... byk tlg Syirul.. btl kdg2 die ade bile Syirul kluar dgn Muneerah... but actually... i owe him a lot... maafkn Syirul klau Syirul dh buat rmai org fkr bkn2 psl Abu... trm ksh,Abu Hanifah... Syirul tgh cube bangun dr kejatuhan Syirul... seriously syirul tk tau ape jd dgn sekeliling Syirul... skrg ni,Syirul tramat prlukn kwn2 Syirl,kluarga Syirul,org yg Syirul syg... Syirul nk ubah balik kpd diri Syirul yg dulu,yg blh ktw dgn senang hati..tp tgk sekeliling SYirul skrg ni,Syirul tk diberi peluang lngsung... ye Syirul brubah...tp tk ke org2 sekeliling Syirul turut brubah trhdp Syirul? and that hurts even more..i need my strength but it's nowhere to be seen... ya Allah... pinjamknlh aku kekuatan agar aku dpt hadapi ujian yg Engaku berikn pdku ini... Ameen...ape yg jd kat Syirul skrg ni,mmg tgh menyakitkn... mmg brt.. tp Syirul tknk org nmpk... Syirul kehilangn org2 yg Syirul syg one by one... tk sakit ke korng klau prkr mcm ni jd kat korng? utk mrk yg fkr hidup Syirul ni dh tk tentu arah,jgn risau.. hidup Syirul msh tk hancur lg... Syirul tgh btlkn hidup Syirul skrg ni... Syirul tau ape yg tgh jd kat Syirul.. Syirul tau ape yg Syirul buat... Syirul cume mntk sgt korng doakn Syirul... smoga Syirul tk trjerumus dlm dosa yg melampau... Ameen...Maafkn Syrul klau ade yg anggp syirul dh brubah... maafkn syirul klau ade yg rase hidup Syirul dh tk btl... tp Syirul mntk sgt3,doakn Syirul agr Syirul tk trkluar dr syariat Islam... ana prlukn doa korng jd ana tk trlanjur dlm dosa dan noda... klau ade pun ana trbuat sesuatu yg tk spatutnye,tu antr ana dgn Allah... nauzubillah... lg2 utk korng yg syg sgt kat Allah... yg sntiase mnghrp ksh syg dr PENCIPTA kte, syirul prlukn sgt3 doa korng... bkn pandangan mate yg menunjukkan seolah2 Syirul org yg brdosa... Syirul mntk sgt doa dr korng,bkn lynn yg menunjukkn seolah2 Syirul org yg sntiase brslh... Syirul prlukn sgt korng doakn Syirul, bkn pandangn mata yg menunjukkn seolah2 Syirul seorg manusia yg tkde maruah dan harga diri... ya Allah... Syirul cume nk hidup syirul yg dulu.. yg dh hilang skrg ni... Syriul prlukn sgt3 org32 yg Syirul syg tp mungkin dorng tk nmpk lg... i;m trying really hard to stand up on my own feet... dan ana tk bilng sape2 pun kecuali org yg ana syg sgt dr kck... Syirul tknk kehilangn org2 yg Syirul syg... tlg lh... tlg nmpk.. jgn butakn hati... mungkin korng igt korng nmpk... tp sbnrnye korng nmpk dgn mate kasar... tlg sgt... mungkin ape yg korng nmpk,tkkn same dgn ape yg dh jd...Syirul hargai sgt3 org2 yg Syirul syg ni... korng slau ade dgn syirul... dan Syirul btl2 trhutang budi dgn korng... Syirul syg korng sgt3... hargai sgt korng yg slalu ade ngn syirul...sbb skrg ni... syirul dh tkde pape lg kecuali org2 yg Syirul syg... mk...bpk...kak Yu... Nadia... Syirul syg sgt3 kluarga Syirul... klau ditakdirkn satu hari nnt Syirul akn kehilangn kwn2 Syirul,Syirul cume ade kluarga syirul je... Syirul tknk kehilangn kluarga Syirul... Smoga Allah satukn kte di akhirat nnt... Ameen... Sakinah... ana syg sgt kat ant... ant slalu ade dgn ana mase ana nangis,mase ana happy... tkpe klau tkde org prcy ana,aslkn ant msh prcy ana.. tkpe klau sume org brpaling dr ana,aslkn ant msh ade lg dgn ana... ana hargai ant sgt3... trm ksh sbb slalu ade dgn ana... smoga Allah temukn kte kat akhirat nnt... Ameen... Kak Su...Zunairah...Nafeesah...Afifah... korng dh dgn ana dr sem 1 lg.. dan korng msh kuat lg utk tnggl sermh dgn ana brulng2 kali... korng dh mcm adk bradk ana... trm ksh sbb slalu ktw ngn ana,ade ngn ana mase ana sakit,mrh,nshtkn ana bile ana buat slh... trm ksh sgt3... ana hargai korng sgt3... Rafidah... Qurratu... Aisyah... Ainul... Nurul... byk lg yg korng tk tau psl ana sbnrnye... dan byk lg yg ana tk tau psl korng... tp ana brtrm ksh sgt3 kt korng sbb sudi nk kwn ngn ana... risaukn ana,ambk brt psl ana, jd kwn ana... trm ksh sgt3... tmpt korng ni,tkde org yg blh ganti... insyaAllah... Muneerah... Diela... kte syg sgt kat korng... korng slalu ade ngn kte bile kte sedih,bile kte nangis,bile kte ade mslh... tgk lh baru brape lame kte knl...tp korng sudi nk kwn ngn kte... kte syg korng sgt3... trm ksh sbb slalu ade ngn kte,ktw ngn kte,buat kte ktw,senyum mase kte tgh sedih... trm ksh sgt3... syg korng.. Afiq... aku tau dh 2 kali kau kelam kabut hntr aku gi hospital... trm ksh sgt... mungkin kau tk nmpk yg kau slalu tlg aku... kau slalu crite2 kat aku,Muneerah ngn Diela.. tp aku nmpk yg kau slalu ade... trm ksh sgt kat kau sbb nk kwn ngn aku... yg trakhr... yg sntiase akn jd yg trakhr utk Syirul... Abu... Abu Hanifah bin Muhammad Nosskah... sdp name awk... unik. byk sgt yg saye nk ckp kat awk... byk sgt yg saye nk crite kat awk... tp saye tk tau mane satu saye nk buat... trm ksh... trm ksh sbb awk org prtame yg tegur saye,yg brkwn ngn saye... trm ksh sgt3 sbb sudi nk brkwn ngn saye...wlaupun rmai org yg sangke bkn2 psl awk...yg ckp mcm2...tp awk msh lg kwn ngn saye... trm ksh sgt3... sbb awk msh ade kat sini...msh ade ngn saye... akn dtg saye tk tau... tp trm ksh sbb msh ade ngn saye skrg ni... igt tk awk slalu prnh ckp dulu yg saye tk hargai org yg saye syg... tp sbnrnye... saye hargai sgt... saye hargai awk sgt3... tp maafkn saye sbb tk tau nk tunjukkn... maafkn saye sbb slalu susahkn awk,maafkn saye sbb saye jd penyebab rmai org fkr bkn2 tntng awk... trm ksh... awk tau tk,bile awk kate awk sbnrnye jht,saye dh tau yg awk jht... tp tk ke sume org jht tu ade kebaiknnye sndiri? btl kn... trm ksh,Abu... Smoga... Allah temukn kte kat akhirat yg kekal satu hari nnt... Ameen... ya Rabbal 'Alameen... Syirul mntk maaf sgt sbb byk susahkn org2 yg Syirul syg... lg2 mase Syirul sakit... Syirul tk mntk Syirul jatuh... tp klau ade yg fkr Syirul sngaje,maafkn Syirul... Syirul akn cube tk jatuh lg... maafkn Syirul sbb susahkn korng sume... tp trm ksh sbb slalu ade ngn Syirul.. Smoga Ramadhan kali ni,Allah beri kebrkatan kpd sume... Ameen... Labels: dia mstilh menyayangi PEMILIK HATIKU trlbh dahulu..., jika dia ingin menyayagiku feelings~
Thursday, 20 August 2009 | 5:40 pm | 0 star
so many things have happened... so many things i've observed... so many things i've think about... so many things i've concluded... but all of these, are negative to me... and the more i do,the more i get hurt... people always say to me... "THINK POSITIVE! can't you just put away that negative thinking of yours?" nope... i can't... not in a thousand times... NEVER... do you know why? i'll tell you... i'm preparing for the worst to come.. i don't want to put hopes onto people.. i don't want my pain to get worse.. i'm training myself to accept everything that is given to me without sighs.. i'm training myself to get used to live by my own when my other part is gone.. now do you understand? if i think positive, then something bad happens... won't i get hurt badly? i don't want that to happen... i need to protect myself... that's what i know... maybe some people might say that my way of thinking is wrong... but honestly, don't worry... i know what i'm doing... because IF I THINK NEGATIVE,AND SOMETHING GOOD HAPPENS,I'LL APPRECIATE IT ALL MY LIFE.. i'll protect what i get... that's how i think... i don't know what to think anymore... i don't know what to feel... what i'm seeing with my eyes, what i'm listening with my ears, and what i'm saying with my mouth,is hurting myself... what i know is i'm always crying bitterly without me realizing it... what i'm supposed to do... i can't look anymore... it's too confusing... and i have to be patient everytime i look..i have to put on a big smile and laugh as if i'm alright... it's tiring living like this... i don't want to go back to Spore... cause once i'm there,i don't want to come back here anymore... EVER. i have reasons to drop out form this college... i'm sick... always sick... and i have to be near my parents... that's one of the reasons... i don't want to see it... i don't want to hear it... i don't want to talk about it... but here i am... still pondering over it again and again and again... Smoga Ramadhan kali ni membawa keberkatan kpd semua dan jgk diriku... Ameen... ya Rabbal 'Alameen... -_- Labels: i just want everything to be normal for me... fainted again~
Wednesday, 19 August 2009 | 9:34 pm | 0 star
ya Allah... sungguh Syirul tk mengerti... tp andainye sume ini adlh dugaan utk Syirul trs hidup dlm kbnrn,maka teruslh menguji...beri lh Syirul kekuatan ya Rabb... krn sesungguhnya Syirul tk punya kekuatan yg mencukupi... pinjamkn lh hambaMU ini kekuatan dan ketabahan utk terus brjln dgn tenang di ats bumi ciptaanMU ini ya Robbul 'Izzah... -_-ya Allah... Sesungguhnya Engkau telah memberiku nama Syirulhuda... menunjuk kpd petunjuk... satu isyarat kebenaran... maka ya Allah... biarlah Syirul hidup dengan memberi semua orang yang Syirul sayang seperti nama Syirul... aku mohon ya Rabb... krn aku tidak punya apa-apa lagi selain dariMu... maka bantu lah syirul.... Bismillahirrahmanirrahim... aku berlindung denganMU dari kejahatan dan kelicikan syaitan yang kejam... Ameen... isk isk~
Monday, 17 August 2009 | 2:06 am | 0 star
i'm crying silently~i'm crushed~ i don't have anything else but knowledge~ It's killing slowly~ Labels: zalim it's over~
Sunday, 16 August 2009 | 7:46 pm | 0 star
someone:"aiman... syg teacher tk?"baby boy:"syg..." someone:"syg teacher smpai mane?" baby boy:"smpai syurga..." this is a story which happened a long time ago... but thanks to this little baby boy, i realize that i love everyone i love until up there...heaven... insyaAllah... someone:"btl ke awk rase ape yg awk rase?" little prince:"btl..." someone"ok... kte tunggu 3 tahun... lps 3 tahun,kte tgk ape jd..." little prince:"baik lah... kte tgk lps 3 tahun..." this is a story which happened a year ago... but believe me... it hasn't reached even 2 years but everything has changed... that's just words from someone... because the situation around this person has changed,everything changes...so... if someone wants to love me... he must love my feelings CREATOR... ^_^ little prince:"awk nk ke mcm tu?" someone:"blh tk klau awk nk,awk buat je... jgn fkrkn saye..." little prince:"blh ke klau awk tk fkr saye?" someone:"emm... tak..." little prince:"mcm tu jgk saye..." someone:"tp awk buat tu sbb saye bkn sbb ape yg awk nk... tk gune mcm tu..." it's as if i'm the only one who is feeling the tension and is struggling... as if it's me and only me... this person wants to be free and it's as if what i'm feeling is a 'halangn' to this person... it's no use asking me... i'm sorry... but i can't trust you anymore... so i'm living in this world...studying really really hard because this is what is left for me... pls Allah... help me...smoga Ramadhan kali ni membawa barakah utk hambaMU yg amat lemah ini... Ameen... Labels: what will happen next? chaos!~
Thursday, 13 August 2009 | 2:30 am | 0 star
supposedly,hadith assignment must be sent by today before 5 in the evening... but here i am... just finished doing it and will hand it tomorrow... i'm so scared actually that ustzh will reject our assignment... how can i lose the track of time... -_- haiz... i'm so careless... i don't even know the actual date of deadline for assignments...i haven't type usul fiqh's assignment and yet there is so much to be done... hmm... and my throat is still itching... my nose is still running... i have to go around with a snif sniff sound... coughing until the whole class hear it... >_<, *sniff sniff* my nose is doing the talking now... don't know what to update... ouh! Ramadhan's around the corner so Slmt Menyambut Bulan Ramadhan aite...? jgn pose yok yok... hikhik... final exam is coming too... how will i do in the finals this sem... wo pu zhi dao.... hmm.... just have to pray a lot eh... but first thing first... HARDWORK! JIA YOU LIL GIRL! >_< k that's that... c ya around then... dada... Labels: changes will change us... do u get it... usul fiqh,syirul~
Tuesday, 11 August 2009 | 10:04 am | 0 star
dlm keadaan ngntuk yg tramat3 skali.... syirul telah prgi ke klas dan mndapati bhw KLAS TKDE!!! >_<, ok.... typo error byk2... mate pun mcm nk rabun je kn... kikik.... tak bwk tisu sdgkn hingus ni dh tk sbr nk menjenguk dunia dan nak membuatkn Syirul nmpk selekeh... oh no no no... i won't let u have it ur way.... =pemm.... lps tu ape? ouh! kemungkinan bsr ade midterm tafsir rabu ni.... arab tak tau lg... english pun tk trkate2 lg bile... yg sgt3 merisaukn.... ASSIGNMENT USUL FIQH! waaaa...... tak cari bhn rujukn pun lg... tp nk kene hntr dh minggu ni ataupun mlm ni? ?_? jd.... syirul kat library nk cari bhn rujukn... end up update blog ye.... huhh... balik ke KUIS lg... skjp je mase brlalu... mcm baru smlm diumumkn cuti mengejut... tibe2 ari ni dh kt KUIS balik... ade 1 prkr yg Syirul tk suke sgt bile balik spore... iaitu nk kene balik sini... kikikik... sungguh tk best prasaannye.... dan knp ye ari ni ayt2 syirul mcm skema gitu... hmmmmm............. emm k lah.... sblm rmai org dan buku rujukn dicuri.... baik syirul gi skrg... *sniff sniff... dada all.... may Allah be with you always... Ameen... Labels: i don't want to do it anymore... go or stay?~
Sunday, 9 August 2009 | 7:39 pm | 0 star
this afternoon...dad came back bringing a big tuna fish and asked me to cook it... but kene siang that fish right... i was like....?_? how to... ?_? and for a beginner yg slame ni siang ikan2 kck je,first time siang ikan bsr mcm tu... I SUCCEED!!!! WOOHOOO!!! hihi... mnjd jgk aku masak ikan tu yea... brbaloi tgk mak slalu mase siang ikan... kikikik... tp yg mknn byk2 tu... syirul sorang ngn bpk... mak tkde slere... demam sakit2... haiz... =_= Astaghfirullah... so... because of this... i'm thinking right now whether to go back tomorrow or stay here until mom gets well? but dad said it's ok... but mom will have no one to accompany her... hmmmmm...... what i'm supposed to do? there's ton of work waiting to be done yet i haven't even start to do even one! why i'm so lazy this sem?!!! at this rate... i'll just stop........................ playing with lappy! (haha... that's a joke isn't it? no lappy? NO!) hmm... muneer's down with fever... mom too... dad's got a very very high temperature but still walks around as if he's a healthy guy... wow... if i want a hubby... i want someone like daddy who is a very caring,loving and responsible man... wow... i really salute you,dad... i looooove both of ya.... so the verdict? hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......................................... Labels: can we return to where we were? no no no~
| 10:07 am | 0 star
*sniff sniff *cough cough adeih adeih... it really hurts you know... when the fever is gone.. now the coughing is going bad... =_= and i feel worse... أسغفر الله العظيم ... mntk ampun byk2... smoga Allah maafkn Syirul... ameen...poor mom and dad... the fever has gone to them now... and i feel bad... they keep saying... "tkpe lah... tk pe... asalkn yul tk sakit tkpe... biar mk ngn bpk je yg sakit..." it's heart-wrenching you know... to see that your parents are getting sick and they say it's ok as long as their children are fine... >_<, it's really sad... dad's temperature is high yet he still goes to work... he's really hardworking... always think of his responsibilties... may Allah protect him... Ameen... mom is not fine at all.. but for me, as long as she still can open her eyes, talk to me and joke around with me, i'm relieve... and i'm going back to Msia TOMORROW!!! oh no no no... >_<, poor mom and dad... i really want to be around them... i really want to... =_= oh ya... before i forget... (how can i forget?) huhu... HAPPY NATIONAL DAY SPORE!!!! HAPPY 44th BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! LOVE YA LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF TON!!! hikhikhik... emmmemmmm.... nk tgk NDP!! mcm tak best gitu kn... tahun lps langsung tak brpeluang... a BIG tak brpeluang nye... patutnye ari ni nak gi kulai tp mk ngn bpk sakit,tk jd... tkpe... yul tk ksh pun... ^_^ it's ok k... for mom and dad... this is for both of you... I love u very much... ^_^ pls get well soon... your daughters really love both of you... and we're very worried... it should be us saying it's ok if we get sick but not both of you... may Allah always be with both of you and protect you... Ameen... for someone who i love so much... you should know this is wrong.... and i know you know it because at the end of the day... it's always you who realises it first and say it to me... i really hope this will end... not you and me... but what we're going through... and i really hope it will end us up in a good way that is what we want... because if it doesn't happen,i'll not be able to do it all over again... i really can't do it anymore... so pls... we must do something... and we need to do something... this is wrong... it's not the path which we should have taken... i feel guilty... and i don't think i need to say sorry because i'm not feeling guilty for a wrong matter... for someone who i love to be with... who is always taking care of me... who is always by my side... i'm doing what i'm doing right now for some reasons... i don't want you to go... i don't want you to go with anyone else... pls understand... i'm so scared... i feel guilty... there are so many what ifs in my head... i hope you will say it to me... that we must do something and this can't go on... you do know that don't you.... you know.... i'm saying this, i'm thinking like this and i'm feeling like this because i don't want to lose the person i love most... pls... pls pls... you must realise it... you must... i don't want to do it all over again... i'm so tired... and if i lose, it'll be really hard for me to start again... to do it again... it'll be very hard... if only you can hear my silent cries... -_- Labels: i just want us to be together... lousier than lousy~
Saturday, 8 August 2009 | 7:14 pm | 0 star
went back to Msia to visit Nadia ak KKB and wanted to go back to Kulai but left with no time so mom,dad and me cancelled our plan to go back to Kulai... dad said to bring me there tomorrow as dad's shop will closed half day as it's NATIONAL DAY tomorrow... but i'll be leaving for Kulai tomorrow... huhu... ^_^some shocking news when i heard Muneer fainted and was sent to hospital as she is having a high fever... poor her... told him that and he said..."Cian Muneer... die byk lyn kerenah kte kn..."hihi... and so do you realize that only now? she's already like my sister to me... never fail to make me smile and laugh when i feel down... hope u'll get well soon,muneer... may Allah always be with you,aite... u're a gd girl... Allah loves you... ^_^ fever comes and go... and i feel lousier than lousy... >_<, flu and coughing non-stop that i feel like my throt will drop... it hurts so much... i'm having difficulty of breathing also... my my... this is very dangerous isn't it? that's why i refuse to go to clinic or hospital... i'm very scared that i'll be suspected of 'that' u know... na'uzubillah... really want to meet this someone... insyaAllah ade jodoh,rezki,bsk Syirul jumpe jgk... Ameen... going back to KUIS next Monday but i'm still sick... oh no... this won't do... poor mom and dad are getting sick too... Gomenasai... >_<, oh Allah... pls protect them who i love... Ameen... k then... that's that... i'll update more soon aite... dada...may Allah be with all of u always... Ameen... Labels: i hope it's sincere from the bottom of ur heart... balik msia 2 ari~
Thursday, 6 August 2009 | 1:47 pm | 0 star
sakit tak hati bile org yg kte syg tu diminati rmai gile3 hbs die pun melyn then bdk tu plk mntk sesuatu yg pd Syirul mmg lh tak patut... ikutkn hati... nak aje ckp *tuuut *tuuut... hihihi... tp Syirul bkn yg jenis mcm tu ok... syirul tahan je... tahan tahan tahan... smpai kwn Syirul kate... "Syirul ni kuat tau... kuat tahan.." hihi... thknx for that,Su... mmg btl pun Syirul kuat tahan.. lbh baik kte tahan dan cube utk prcykn die dr buat die ragu2 ngn kte... sakit sgt3... mcm nk rebah je rase.... ok.. i don't know whether it's a gd news or not... but i want it to be a gd one... congrats one-chan... u're really moving on... and i know that u know what's waiting for u in front there... just be strong... i really hope that this one will last forever for you... pls be strong ok... like moi? one and only... from then until now and i hope until eternity although it will be really hard... pls pls pls... ameen.. -_- *cough cough oopss... nothing to worry about... hope we'll all get well soon... ameen.. sakit btl ank tekak syirul... kesian die... sbr ye... nnt baik lah tak lame lg k... syirul mntk mak nak balik kulai jumaat ni... tp tibe2 bpk rncng balik kulai ptg ni... maybe ade kenduri kot kat sane... ari kan nisfu syaaban... ape syirul nak ckp eh nnt... hmm...?_? pape pun,syirul nak visit seseorg kat sane.. tu the main oint... pas tu nak visit kak Ayu pas tu nak visit nadia plk... kesian nadia pun tgh sakit... sbr yea... pas tu nak balik spore balik pas tu balik ngn yg len ari isnin nnt... NATIONAL DAY IN SPORE~~!!! wuhhu... and u mister... what u msged me just now better be true or u'll get it from me! and don't talk or say what u said to me to anyone else or u'll never ever see me talking to u ever again! hmmph1 >_<, it hurts if u do u know... =p k then... need to prepare something something.... ptg ni nak brtolak dah... dada... may Allah bless all of you.. ameen.. *ya Allah... tetapkan lah hatinya... begitu juga hatiku... ya Rabb... kuatkan lah hati kami utk menepuh sgala2nya... jgn lh trlps biarpun sesekali kehilangn... ya Robbul 'Izzah... aku brmohon... luruskn lh prjlnn kami ini... Ameen ya Rabbal 'Alameen... Labels: will u pls give me some confidence... love story
Wednesday, 5 August 2009 | 11:08 pm | 0 star
 how should i put this in words... i have no idea how to... it hurts too much that i just don't know what to feel anymore... i'm really very troubled over a matter.... pls stop now... u can stop now... pls don't do this... pls i beg... pls no...
it really is nice to watch the one you love crying, pondering and hurting because of you isn't it? it's enjoying right...then so be it... Labels: pls stop this now... back to hometown~~
| 4:09 am | 0 star
shouldn't i be smiling from ear to ear when i heard that we'll be going home? shouldn't i be laughing when i know that we're taking a sudden break for a week? but why i'm feeling weird and sad deep within me? it's so unnatural that i can't hold on anymore...so many things have happened and i don't want to lose them all... maybe it's too sudden and i'm not ready for this... it's too sudden for me that i can't hold back my tears... it's really weird... why am i smiling and crying at a time? this shouldn't be happening... this can't happen... there was this one time when things that suddenly happen occured and as a result, i have to let everything go... although it's not my fault wholely... and it's affecting me until now... and i'm scared.. really scared that this something bad will happen again and affect me deeply that i will breakdown for a really long time.. i don't want that to happen cause it hurts so much... and it's still hurting... this someone said to me, that it'll be hard... it'll be really hard... so i told this person that i want to be together... it's ok if it hurts too much... it's ok... i'll pray... i'll pray that one day the sun will shine upon us and we'll be able to smile like that day... i want to smile again... all i want is to be together... with mom, dad, one-chan, imoto-chan, watashi no tomodachi... and this person... pls.. i'll pray that we'll be able to cross all these hurdles... i'll pray... i'll go with you and if you have to go,pls come back... pls come back and don't forget that i'm waiting... i don't want that matter to occur two times... i'm really scared... pls Allah... lend me YOUR strength... i need it.. i really need it... i must smile... i must smile... i must... Labels: don't ever forget that i'm here... SMART II !!!
| 12:59 am | 0 star
sem 3 yg prgi ke Penang... tahniah ats komitmen yg diberikn... hihi... *me? i had a great time for sure... ^_^  *Muneeer... pngorbananmu dilht YG MAHA ESA... ^_^  * fasi trbaik! Afiq!!! wuhu!  * Abu... wlaupun letih... jia you!  * YUS! tk sangke kau prgi... best lah kau... ^_^ Labels: i'll be waiting... SMART!!!
Tuesday, 4 August 2009 | 9:18 pm | 0 star
ni lah gmbr2 yg dipetik dr programme Usuluddin... have a nice look around! ^_^          pnt+ngntuk+sakit
Monday, 3 August 2009 | 1:50 pm | 0 star
"kau hancurkn hatiku... hancurkn lg..."
fuhh... lagu...hikhik... ^_^ hye! salamz... Syirul baru je balik dr Penang... SMART kat sane? wlaupun byk tidur tp... FANTASTIC! Alhamdulillah... sumenye ok... byk bende jd sepnjng kat sane... i'll update the pics later ok... 1st,agknye sbb cuaca panas sgt dan Syirul sakit kepale, Syirul pengsan... aaaaaaa!!! malu3... dh lh kene angkat masuk bilik... dan di ats sbb kejadian ni, mrk2 yg brkenaan nk elakkn Syirul dr trlibat dgn muhasabah diri pd mlm tu... tp... sbb nk elak punye elak... trjdlh prkr ke-2... 2nd, akak tu ajk Syirul prgi teman die mkn ubat kat bilik. syirul teman je lah.. tanpe disangke2, mrk2 yg berada di dewan tu tk tau Syirul naik ats, dorng dh kelam kabut cari Syirul igtkn Syirul hilng... huhuhu... GOMEI! >_<> 3rd,bile nk balik tu,bag yg Syirul bek ade vest sume,Syirul tngglkan kt dlm bas... tp tkde. kecoh satu bas cari bag Syirul lg2 yg lelaki kat dpn tu tlg cari...hihi... tk sangke. Syirul relax je kt blkng... tp akhrnye bag tu dijumpai... kak Sabirah yg bwk skali mase turun bas.. ouh... thnks sgt3... and something did happen... something... tp tk tau lh ape plk jd lps ni... blm pape,ari ni sakit hati lg... part and parcel of life eh... dh lh asik nk tidur je... sakit2... Astaghfirullah... klau asik nk tutup mate je... baik mati je. mcm tgh practise nk mati plk. hihi... mrapu2 je... dhlh smlm mamai turun bas prgi the mall dan mamai tu smpai naik bas balik... teruk kn... k lah... tu je... pics programme,i'll update soon ok... best... tahniah seniors,Usuluddin... ^_^ Labels: if i let go, it still hurts..., it'll hurt more but if i hold on |
